Arse! 5, July 2010
Posted by babychaos in Adult Content, General Wittering, Grumpy Old Bag, Small Scale Disasters, whinging.3 comments
The little rat arsed drunken bastards who scream their way up my street every Friday and Saturday night (oh for a water cannon… or a megaphone, a few rounds of “shut the fuck up you loud mouthed prick” followed by high velocity squirting would be very satisfying) have stolen one of our green balls again only this time they’ve hidden it more thoroughly and my efforts to get it back have proved fruitless.
I’ll have to go back to hanging baskets which die because I forget to water them or buy another pair of balls which is annoying because they’re fucking expensive… When I do, I’m thinking I should fill them with dog pooh… or Chewie’s, perhaps! At least that way there’s a chance the little shits who nick the next one will get wiels disease. I mean bloody hell! When I was young, we nicked street furniture, we stole from THE MAN! Nobody stole stuff from real people even if we thought they were rich which, presumably because we have the temerity to live in a big house, is what’s happening to here…
Oh dear, there I go getting fed up with the resident in-laws for their apparent view that everyone, in the entire world who is under 25 or who sees the world in a way that is the tiniest bit different from them is devoid of any redeeming features and may as well be put in prison straight away and I go and say that…
No, actually I never said that all young people are feckless bastards… but by the laws of averages, some of the feckless bastards will have to be young people. It’s unfortunate that they’re the ones who walk home down my street every Friday and Saturday night.
Tossers.
Fuck off! I mean it. 1, July 2010
Posted by babychaos in Adult Content.add a comment
I got some spam today from the Fascists… well… there’s a turn up. It said this…
“We are european fascists ! Fight for racial purity ! Our time begins! We are strong and can build new Reich! Join to us! We call on all people visit out sites. On them you will find information about war against system! Sieg heil fascist, nordic nazi! Adresses of our sites you can see below: www.I’mnotdignifyingitwithalink.com
The Third Reich was a bollocks place to live and I’m pretty sure that the Belarussians (not sure how to describe them in the plural) were actually on the receiving end weren’t they? Is this that thing where you learn to love your kidnapper? Or are they hoping to recreate the Reich and give themselves a really thorough kicking? – Zis time ve vill be bedder planned for ze winter.
I’d probably be more inclined to believe they had a coherent argument if they could spell.
More things… 14, June 2010
Posted by babychaos in Life and living, Mini Me, Mom, Mum, baby stuff, toddlers.3 comments
Have just been to France with Mr BC and Mini Me, leaving in-laws here. They’re bedding in nicely, there have been some heart to hearts and we are gradually shaking down and getting used to one another.
Arriving on the first day in France, Mr BC went out to buy some snacks. I put Mini-Me down for a rest. The room was great, a little room for him and a big one for us. So I popped him down and amongst the other burblings heard.
“Lamp…”
Long pause.
“I see lamp.”
Another long pause.
“Sing to lamp.”
Cue several circuits of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.
Later Mr BC and I heard.
“I love Muggy” (that’s me, he can’t say Mummy). “I love Daddy.”
Pause.
“Daddy loves me…” pause… “Muggy loves me…”
Bless him.
Things that make you proud 20, May 2010
Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Mini Me, Mom, Mum, baby stuff, toddlers.4 comments
Mini BC pointed at my Dr Who mug today and, unprompted, shouted, “Darlick”.
I did tell him what a Dalek was – when he was about 5 months old at any rate – but I don’t remember mentioning it since. Even so, clearly it went in.
I’m talking ’bout things… 15, May 2010
Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Mini Me, Mom, Mum, baby stuff, not while you're eating, toddlers.Tags: General Wittering, writing, motherhood, children, toddler
1 comment so far
I went car booting today, arrived home and mini-me runs into the garage with his daddy.
“Hello gorgeous!” I say.
“Hello Muggie!” He replies. Two words together. Yes, as of this morning we are doing phrases, with consistency I mean because phrases are what he did first (a two off “I dat” and “I go la” at 9 months then a one off “no mummy, I get this today” at 13 months or so which was the time he started saying the odd word).
His cognative skills are better too.
He also has a hissy fit if I…
- Shut a door without letting him do it for
- Flush the loo myself.
- Help myself to loo paper – I MUST allow him to remove it from the roll and hand it to me in tiny pieces or, if I’m lucky, sheet by sheet.
I’ve probably psychologically scarred him for life using a menstrual cup in his presence but very possibly slightly less than if I’d shut him out in the hall while I did it, judging by the yelling that goes on if I do.
Finally, I’ve published ANOTHER e-short which you can find here it’s also on Feedbooks if you prefer. Blurb below, enjoy.
They Came, They Saw, They Took the Tinfoil.
Gerry wakes up in in a bath full of cold water in her interview suit and best shoes. How did she get there? How did she sleep and why is there nothing aluminium left in the flat? Her flatmate Jane wants a shower, her other flatmate, Nina, is looking for her saucepans but Gerry… she just wants answers. British English, a bit of light swearing U/PG
