Laugh? 9, October 2007
Posted by babychaos in Adult Content, General Wittering, Humour, Life and living, Light Fluff, Play, whinging, winging.Tags: , driving, funny stories, humor, Humour, jokes, morning sickness, police car loudspeaker antics, Small Scale Disasters, true stories, whinging
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Just back from a splendid weekend break. Hugely revitalising, although I have to confess to a smattering of morning sickness. Actually it’s more than a smattering. I feel like shit warmed up, no, that’s not right. I suspect warm shit feels a lot nicer than I do. I must be growing sodding quintuplets here, I have a giant muffin top already and while not go, per se, the Chunderbirds are definitely warming up their engines. Uck.
All movement has to be done carefully with the head kept very level to keep nausea and dizziness down to the absolute minimum. Whilst delighted to be obviously pregnant, I find myself wishing the symptoms were a little less er… bold. Skipping about chirpily, though my desired intent, is not really on the cards until our friends at International Let’s Spew stand down or at least, revert to amber alert. I’ll be fucking annoyed if it falls out after feeling like this.
Anyway, “morning” (more like all day) sickness aside, what I actually came here to do was share this lovely story with you because it made me laugh and I think Joe, especially, will enjoy it, having been on the end of law enforcement megaphone abuse, himself. Here in Blighty we have a magazine called FHM, which runs a readers’ true stories column. Here is a choice example, as told by one intrepid reader.
“Some years ago I was working for a small business firm in Manchester. On the way home I was just about to drive up onto the M26, when I had to stop at a red light.
“In front of me was a police car, a Jaguar and then a learner. When the lights turned green the learner started to pull away, stalled and couldn’t restart his car until the lights were red again. When they changed to green, he stalled again, prompting the man in the Jag to get out and walk towards him.
“Suddenly, the police car loudspeaker burst into life.
“‘Would the gentleman who has just left his vehicle please remember he was once a learner too.’
“Clearly embarrassed, the man returned to his Jag. As the lights changed, the learner stalled again, at which point we were treated to.
“‘Fucking hell! The dozy twat’s done it again!’”
I think the moral of this story runs thus. “Policemen and women! Remember to turn the loudspeaker off after use.”
So it’s all happening then? Is it appropriate to do a dance of fertility, or are you still waiting for definite answers? (And a big hug to you, whichever the case!)
Aw thank you chuck!
Um… well, it’s happening but whether or not it’ll stick, I don’t really know. It’s there, it’s not ectopic and it’s growing normally so far. However, “so far” is only about 5 or 6 weeks. I have another scan in two weeks or so to see if it’s growing, if it is, I then have the tests to see if it’s normal and if it isn’t I have to decide what to do… so, quite a few hurdles before it even becomes a bump.
Well see…
Cheers
BC
LOL Cute story. Nothing like amplified frankness!
By all means, move carefully and keep that head level. Deep fried, salty foods fend off Chunderbirds in some cases. I’m happy for you!
I’m glad Kat asked how things are going because I’ve been wondering, too.
I forgot to suggest Arnott’s Arrowroot biscuits, which helped with my first pregnancy. (That and not getting out of bed ’til noon. Hehe.) In the meantime, I hope you’re getting the pampering you deserve!
Mrs N, glad you liked the story and yeh, sorry I forgot the update! It’s a bit me, me, me this pregnancy thing so I’m not sure how to proceed really… I think I may hive off a separate area so people who aren’t interested don’t have to look at it!
Salty is definitely good, I’m finding grilled seeds do wonders at the moment; sunflower, pumpkin, linseed and sesame.
Kat, I am staying in bed pretty late but I have so much stuff I’m supposed to be doing and I’m not at the stage where I can say “I’m pregnant sod off” if you see what I mean, even though I feel like shit. So I’m pretending to be genuinely ill (mwa ha hahaargh). I will have a look for those Arnott’s biscuits… I’m thinking ginger might help me too… crystallised, of course!
Thanks for the good wishes you both.
Cheers
BC
Congragulations! Such good news :-)I know it’s early but I have all digits crossed for you
Ginger ale (staying with the ginger theme) is excellent for dicky tummies. Take care and will be thinking good thoughts. xo
Ginger ale… hmm… this reminds me, I have a bottle of Ginger Squash in my fridge… it may sound revolting but it’s not at all bad… mmm…
Cheers
BC
Congratulations BC! Sending lots of sticky dust your way. And I highly recommend Anna’s Swedish Ginger Biscuits, I found them the tastiest and easiest to digest of all the ginger biscuits.
Congratulations my friend, I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you. Sorry I don’t have any suggestions for the nausea, if you find something that works please let me know.
Loved the story about the police.
Bill
There’s definitely a ginger theme developing here… lucky because I love ginger. I will be ferreting about for some crystalised ginger at the market today so I’ll let you all know if it works!
Thanks for your best wishes Bill and Noble Savage, too… as the South African’s say, I’m holding thumbs….!
Cheers
BC
Aww, I’m wishing you all the best my babychaos. Just …..AWW.
Much love today.