Actually, they didn’t. I did. They were well active though. BTW the not while you’re eating tag is switched on so if you are, don’t read to the end!

So, note to self, when you go to aqua natal with a large hole in the top of your thumb take a plaster, this will stop you from bleeding all over the following:

• bra
• pants
• shirt
• towel
• brand new swimming costume
• bag
• lovely tubigrip SPD-countering truss thing

You will then not have to wash them all when you get home. The truss thing, especially, looks like I’ve committed an axe murder in it! Oh dear.

I had a bit of a flop sweat last night. This whole pregnancy thing has to be the biggest conspiracy ever, nobody told me about those but it appears they are normal… some people get them after, too. Please god no!

So I woke up hot and bothered in pyjamas which were actually damp. Ack. Wanted to change them but Mr BC was fast asleep and had a tough day ahead. When Mr BC wakes up, he seldom goes back to sleep again so I felt that condemning him to a night of wakefulness was too cruel. Anyway, I stuck them over the radiator in the bathroom and by the time I had finished having a pee and doing my pressure points , they’d dried.

Yeh, I do the SPD pressure points in my feet by putting my foot on a small round stone positioned on the go point for two minutes a pop but it takes me 5 minutes to find the go point and I usually only remember to do it in the middle of the night. It’s not often I’m glad of something like this.

This morning, clearly, it was change the sheets time. After swimming…

I put the bottom sheet on and went into the bathroom to remove my blood-spattered bra and put a clean one on. Luckily I noticed the blood all over my tit before I bled all over the clean white bra I was about to put on.

Back into the bedroom where I decided red polka-dots were not on and took recently applied, clean bottom sheet straight off again. Clean sheet number two fitted along with a plaster over my no longer painful but copiously bleeding thumb! Never mind, at least I managed to spot it before I damaged the other bra AND I successfully rummaged in the drawer for clean pyjamas without bleeding all over everything in there… Now I call that a result.

On the downside I have applied copious anti-stretch mark product all over my bump, legs and bum… where do I have them? Underneath my tits. That’s a big YUCK going out to all my pregnant friends, may you never suffer with stretch marks underneath your tits. Eugh.

I repulse me.

Ah the joys of being pregnant… and a bit of a spanner.

It could be even worse. I could be able to see them. At least underneath they will be invisible unless I sunbathe topless and how likely is that (not any more).

I used it as an excuse to myself some illicit toys from Woolies to make up for it… they were two for the price of one so it was churlish not to… and last week I bought some way cool shoes! I could throw those in, too. Mmm…

Perhaps I should replace them with a pair of these… then again, what if I had a night sweat, the bed would be full of melted brown goo… and it’d be the middle of the night so I’d be far too disorientated to realise what it was…

I should stop now…

Enjoy.