Are you a lonely mum? You can end the drought… 1, May 2009
Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Life and living, Mini Me, baby stuff, handy hints.Tags: coping with motherhood, loneliness of parenthood, lonely mothers, mother alone
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My poor brain has been an arid place recently. On the whole, being a full time Mum is good but intellectual stimulation is thin on the ground, conversations tend to be interrupted and mostly revolve around mini BC. This is natural and picking other people’s brains, discovering how they cope with phase x, y or z is how I find my way through the maze of motherhood.
The way to cope is to make sure you go out a lot, make lots of phone calls to people on speakerphone, keep the e-mails coming etc…
A few weeks ago, though, it got me down. I was very lonely. My mobile was broken which made communication tricky, most trysts are arranged by text. None were getting to me. The hormones, the knee and the SPD were tricky – still too much relaxin in the system – and I was blue. In the company of my small companion all day, I felt strangely isolated.
“Radio 4.” Said my Mum. “Seriously, you won’t believe the difference it makes.”
It’s good, I know. It’s always been on in the background at home but it’s always distracted me from the conversation or from writing so I’ve always turned it off. What can I lose if I try it?
In my precious spare minutes I research digital radios on the web. They are all very small or very expensive. I narrow it down to two, both about £70, a Roberts solar powered one or a Freeplay. Eventually I find the Freeplay one for £65 (with the postage and VAT in) and plump for that on the grounds that on Amazon, it is mentioned as having slightly better sound quality than the Roberts one.
Today, charged and ready, I switch it on. I listen to a history of thalidimide, an interview with a successful and very interesting TV producer, a report into whether or not Olympic Committee officials should have a special lane to themselves in 2012 and a little bit of news.
It is like oxygen. It is like water. My parched brain thirstily drinks in the information as if it had been dying. I hadn’t realised how starved of stimulation it was until now. I feel different, lighter, happier and a lot less boring, I have things to talk about now which are not small, blonde and very cute… I feel normal, in a very good way.
Yeh. Radio 4. I recommend it.
Geek baby? 19, January 2009
Posted by babychaos in Life and living, Play, baby stuff.4 comments
Yesterday I phoned the BC parents. Best Boy was on the sofa beside me as usual, wriggling about while I kept a hand on him to stop him going over the edge.
Suddenly, tinny and small, I hear the voice of uncle BC. Yes, while on to Mum and Dad on the big phone, he has found my mobile and phoned my brother. I had been trying to get hold of him all day and boy nails him first time!
Typical…
Mr BC is out and I have just finished half a bottle of very decent wine. I am full of bonhomie!
Very excited. Have decided things like facebook are a good way of keeping in touch but need to do so without opening computer and subjecting keyboard to attentions of Best Boy.
A few days ago, he was grabbing happily at the keys and I was typing away, not taking much notice when I glanced down and realised the function key had gone awol. Glanced at boy and saw function key just going into mouth. Rescued function key, found little springy plastic thing and reassembled… boy is clearly going to be a geek. Not surprising, he comes from a family of engineers on his dad’s side and even on mine there are a sprinkling.
So… have kitted myself out with a touch screen internetty type of phone.
Bizarrely, though my mobile company will provide new customers with a free internet touch screen phone, unlimited internet access and texts for £35 a month this isn’t open to all existing customers and is only available with that specific handset.
Bum!
Never mind. Even buying the phone to get the price plan is cheaper than carrying on the way I am. So I have. Over the life of the contract that works out cheaper than upgrading to a free phone. Strange but handy.
Let’s hope it works….
Peace… 6, September 2008
Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Life and living.Tags: breast feeding, new baby
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The little fellow is gradually dozing off beside me – I hope – he doesn’t always get fully to sleep. The cat is sitting beside me dozing, too and I am thoroughly tempted to join them… but the house sale is going through, we are moving in three weeks and I need to pack…
Small man has just hoovered every last drop from me and I am trashed. When Hop on Pop feels like War and Peace you know you’re knackered.
I wouldn’t have it any other way though.
Addendum. I am now sitting typing and my boy and Mr Cat are asleep. Boy on a mat Mr Cat on Mr BC’s clean washing (oh dear).
One of them is snoring…
It’s Mr Cat.
Babychaos… finally 10, August 2008
Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Life and living, Light Fluff, baby stuff.Tags: babies, baby, babychaos, breast feeding, breast milk, living with a newborn, too much information
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Hmm, well just a brief note to let you all know I’m still alive. Just about getting this baby thing off pat now, although we have to go to so many places and do so much stuff – post natal group, check ups, shots… they always crop up just as the poor little man’s dropped off to sleep. Even so, I can still do more stuff than I expected, or will be able to do when he gets older, I suspect.
Good news, for the last week he has slept right through the night and though he takes a small eternity to feed, about an hour, at least I get a good long gap between. He would feed faster if he didn’t have to keep stopping and smiling beatifically up at me… but it melts my heart so how can I chide him for that?
My life is feeding, playing games and singing Old Macdonald Had a Farm very loudly – a firm favourite this one, junior appears to love the animal noises… oh yes and milk. Don’t forget milk.
There is something mildly humorous about breast feeding, not doing it but the whole milk thing is inherently comic. I appreciate that I’ll be the only person who thinks this but it’s the truth… Friends pop round, we make a cup of tea and I offer them some milk… you can see the worry crossing their faces, would she do that to me?
Yes! Mwah ha ha haargh! Actually, no. But I do enjoy saying.
“I hope this is enough milk, we don’t have much left… or at least, we do have a lot of milk but not the kind of milk you’d want to drink…” and watching them look harassed.
The other day, I had what can only be described as a milk attack. BC Minor made it known that he would like to have a meal, NOW. However, I can only feed him one breast at a time so while he is beasting one, the other tends to ooze copiously.
No worries, I put on a smashing breast milk collecting cup (yes, such things really exist, these are yet another indispensable item I have bought, pretty much by mistake, at a car boot sale) but oh no! They are the other side of the room. Putting junior down – much to his rage but I tell him all good things come to patient boys who are prepared to wait – I get up and go over to get one. Horror of horrors my boobs are pouring like a leaky bucket and I leave a trail of milk to the table and back. The mess is indescribable and I can’t help laughing.
I’m big and he’s little so I have to hold the boob up a bit when I give him a meal. Back in position, I lift it and it squirts milk in alarm like an angry cuttlefish. I guffaw and even Mini BC smiles.
Then there’s the lumps. Since I started. So at my six week check I raise my inability to massage away my blocked milk ducts. The doctor refers me to the breast clinic for a check up. One is small and hard like a pea and if it’s not a blocked duct… well we all know what that description means… Over the week we have some very hot weather and Mini BC pretty much drinks me dry three days running. The scary pea-like lump goes, hoorah! But there’s a big squishy one still very much in evidence.
I brick it all week, so much so that Mr BC kindly comes to the clinic with me. I am examined and yes there is a worrying lump, I am given an ultrasound. Phew, it’s a harmless cyst, the consultant offers to drain it – she says it will be a good idea anyway so she can see what’s in there.
They stick a needle in and what comes out?
Yes.
Milk.
Lots of it.
We laugh and I go home happy.
On top of Milk, the other thing dominating my life is tidying up. Yes, gluttons for punishment that we are, we’ve put our house on the market. We must be fricking mad! Well, no, we’re not, we’ve just found one we really like. Same kind of thing, regency town house, only bigger, detached and with a slightly larger garden. Everything we love about this house but more rooms so no more worries about sticking the rellies in expensive B&Bs or that they are too old and decrepit to sleep on a futon in the boy’s room.
Needless to say there are people who can buy it without selling their house so there’s no point in getting all excited about it as they’ll merely up their offer until we have to go away. We’ve put our house on the market anyway, though and if it doesn’t work out, well… it wasn’t meant to be.
So although I’ve hardly been here and am missing reading your blogs at least now you know where I’ve been. I’ll be back eventually but for now Milk Management, Finding Things I’ve hidden er sorry put away to make the house look large, spacious and uncluttered (some hope) and generally trying to keep the place tidy have been sucking in all my time.
Never mind, I’ve nearly finished my novel and I’ve worked out how it ends!
Ah… now Junior is stirring. And so… to open the milk bar…
