But you will love it.

Today we will mostly be looking at String Theory.

There is a splendid blog called Debate Unlimited, run by a bloke called Martin Willett. It’s the sort of thing I would do here if I had the time or could be arsed and it deserves a write up in itself. More on that story… later… perhaps… if I remember. BUT… Mr Willett has a whole section devoted to “String Theory” that is, looking at the bizarre things people have typed to get to his website and then… well… poking fun at them.

Since he kindly linked to one of my sporadic Search Strings posts I feel it only right and proper to do the same for him.

Right down at the bottom of the String Theory page is an area for String Pullers of the World and I’m the last one. In view of the rest of the site I feel quite honoured…

“I’m not alone in doing this. OK, I’m the best but here’s some others” He says.

Frankly, he’s right. Bah! I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a comprehensive list of search strings, lots of humorous illustrations, too. I think my favourite has to be “Keith Richards cannot be killed” yes, somebody typed that into a search engine.
So… I give you Martin Willett’s String.

I know you will enjoy it!

Go to here to find out how much your blog is worth.

This unfocussed, rambling madness is now worth the princely sum of $7, 903.56 - where did they get the 56 cents from? This exchanges for the massive total of £3,943.08608… ok then, £3,943.09 if we round it up and do it properly.

Hmm… it seems my blog is my biggest asset.

Oh dear. Not good.

Well… ok… Bali but things may be a little quiet round here until 25th April.

I’ve just finished painting the hall and the stairs, three floors - that’s a lot of wall and bannisters. About 5 days worth to be honest…

Then, there’s those pre-holiday alarums and excursions. Take today, for example. Drama has overtaken me. I lost my prescription sunglasses on Good Friday actually I lost them the week before but I didn’t notice until then (grrrrr!). So, having found an opticians with the facilities to make me another pair TODAY I have to go haring off to the next town and sit for one and a half hours while they sort them.

Who said holidays are restful, I reckon chaos that proceeds them as you try to sort everything out is so huge that a holiday swimming nude with crocodiles in the Everglades and surviving on a diet of only slugs and pond water would be restful after the prep for most people.  Especially me after the prep for this one!

Never mind. I will be back to gloat on 25th April! Until then, I leave you with the tumble weed!

Too girlie, clearly! I had to give this one a go. I’m horribly pragmatic and down to earth so I though I’d be mostly bloke but no! I’m a pukka girl! Mmm!

Your Brain is 67% Female, 33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you’re tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Yep that’s right, you heard it here first. Actually you didn’t. I got it off a writers’ TV programme about 10 years ago. It’s true though, Nothing in plumbing is forced and nothing in writing can be either. Not original writing, anyway. You can’t write a story if you don’t know where it’s going to go - knowing where it ends up is not the same, I mean the up close detail.

That’s why I haven’t written anything on my Novel for two years… I’ve just dabbled and tinkered… until today. All of a sudden I’ve worked out the next step. Needless to say, I’m delighted and also a bit hooked. Like a good book, I can’t put it down, I want to know what happens to the characters and where they end up.

Sadly - or is that happily - I can’t just read it in an afternoon like a good book though, it takes me months to write a novel, well, years often. I suppose that’s why I sometimes lose the thread and have to stop for a couple of aeons and then, to keep in practise or even when I am in full flow, to keep it fresh, because I can’t do too much per day - I have to give the well of ideas time to fill up - I write something like this, too.

I like the way a lot of the characters just arrive, fully formed, in my head. All I have to do is keep a weather eye on the general framework and let them develop amongst themselves. I know this happens to most writers but it’s still really cool when people like J K Rowling admit their characters turn up like that too - apparently Harry Potter strolled into her head, fully formed, during a train journey.

Here’s a great quote this is about music but it’s a similar sentiment.

“You like to think that it’s something you created, but secretly you know that you had some kind of help, or somebody gave this to you.”

I’m not sure that’s quite how it is for me but it’s quite close in that I don’t really know where all this stuff comes from…

Writing costs, it really costs but when I get it right it just feels so good, like I’m doing what I should be doing, like I’m clawing my way to the light.

The art is there too, the art is my foil because it uses a different kind of energy, I can’t do one well without the other so it’s great to have them both switched to on at the same time. Actually… it’s fantastic.

That’s another great thing about having a blog, you can be as pretentious as you like!