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Smug. 13, December 2007

Posted by babychaos in Art, General Wittering, Life and living, Light Fluff, Play, Pregnancy Issues.
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The official results are in. We have a 1 in 9942 chance of having a baby with Spina Bifida or Downs Syndrome. The BC household is relieved to the point of smugness.

This week, I have mostly been indoctrinating my future child’s musical taste with: Sham 69 – Questions and Answers is high on my favourites list, possibly even a desert island disk.

I have been to three Christmas Dinners this week and am feeling appropriately lardy.

It is perfectly possible to perform Egyptian Dance moves to British Punk although what the neighbours think when they see me cameling across the kitchen to “Hurry Up Harry” I’m not sure.

I have had two name art commissions, including one out of the blue from a complete stranger, for real paid money! Hoorah.

On the off side… it’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey and we will be sans heating and hot water next week while our new boiler is fitted at this incredibly opportune time!

Freezing the Balls off a Brass Monkey is actually a nautical term. A brass monkey held stacks of cannonballs, if it was exceptionally cold, the brass monkey and the balls contracted at different rates when they froze meaning the balls could tumble off… allegedly. Two thousand million people will add a comment to tell me I am wrong right…. now.

Despite the daunting thought of enduring it with no heating, the cold is very beautiful, white hoar frost on everything, bright sun and blue sky, the kind of heart lifting winter day seldom seen here in East Anglia. A splendid departure from dreech and subacqueous.

Ok, shall I let you into a secret. My home town is featured on an album cover. Look at the Division Bell, by Pink Floyd. See those buildings in between the two facey things with the great big eff-off cathedral sticking up? Well… down behind that big building… that’s where I live.

division-bell.jpg

That closes the random musings for today.

I thank you for your time!

…And another thing! 11, September 2007

Posted by babychaos in Art, General Wittering, Life and living, Light Fluff, Play, writing.
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3 comments

I need a job and…

Oh yeh!  And I’d like to be a professional illustrator too…

Shamless Laziness… 15, June 2007

Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Life and living, Light Fluff, Play.
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3 comments

Yes, that’s right, I am too lazy to post anything interesting today so I will leave it to another blog.

Lovecarrots is a blog about vegetables. Yes, it’s true. However today’s post is truly splendid… I give you the Vegetable Orchestra, from Lovecarrots…!

Mmm…. tasty…

Click here to visit Lovecarrots

Click here to go to the orchestra’s home site….

10 Songs to Cheer up to… except there are 15 of them… 16, March 2007

Posted by babychaos in Adult Content, General Wittering, Grumpy Old Bag, Life and living.
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19 comments

Ok, so counting has never been my strong point! Here is my top “ten” list of songs to play when you feel blue… Any blue people out there? Well… Doctor BabyChaos prescribes these fifteen smashing songs to help you through. I hope they help you along as much as they do me. This is a light hearted look at being sad so, if that’s likely to offend you, look away until my next post.

Stage One: Wallowing in it.
If you’re down and you want to cry some more then go ahead. When human beings get sad our eyes leak. It’s nature, it’s what we do. It’s the pressure valve and it makes us feel better. Alternatively, if you are the bottling type or have been snivelling for quite long enough you may want to beat back the tears and if that’s the case a good dose of singing bitterly and angrily may help. Try these…

Say Hello, Wave Goodbye – Soft Cell: Sing along with bitter angst (and in tune). Make sure you get the original late 80s (or was it early 90s) recording. The subsequent one is a much better performance but it’s lost the raw power of its predecessor. Mr Almond is hurting and angry in the original version and if you are too, it’s great to join in.

Stong – Robbie Williams: Are you normally a jolly soul? Do people think you’re going to top yourself if you stop smiling for more than 30 seconds? Yeh, well if you’re one of those and you just want to take a bit of time out feel a bit crap about something this is a great song. “Not so tough now are we? No?” Yeh, well who gives a smeg? It’s allowed.

The Tracks of My Tears – Smoky Robinson: Another one for the down clown. Get into it, screw up your eyes, give it your soul… you’ll feel better if only because you know you’re looking a bit odd and imagining how it looks makes you laugh.

Help Me – Johnny Cash: A soulful, desperate, heart rending prayer from a man in dire need. When your back’s against the wall and you’ve nowhere else to turn, play this and realise you are not alone. People have been there before you. Namely Johnny Cash, ill and in pain and mourning the death of his wife. Utterly honest and straight from the heart, if this one doesn’t give you goosebumps you do not have a soul. You will be really wailing into your soup but by heaven you’ll feel better afterwards.

Stage Two: Reassurance
Ok so once you’ve done the crying, wrung out your handkerchief and you’re ready to go on you may need to hear some songs that tell you everything is going to be ok.

Stop Crying Your Heart Out – Oasis: When I lost my job I played this over and over as I drove home. I did cry my heart out… for the whole two hour journey but blimey I felt better by the time I’d finished.

Electrical Storm – U2: A good one to play if you are in the midst of the storm and not sure what the outcome will be. You know you have to sort yourself out but you may not know how or what to do for the best. Don’t worry, you are not cracking up, you are merely being human. I’d lay bets that everyone with a problem thinks themselves round in circles, usually when the result is dependent on somebody else’s decision or if they know the answer but doing it is asking too much of them at that time. Don’t worry you will work it through in the end, stop thinking about it and play this, it sums up the atmosphere perfectly.

Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End – The Beatles: Another people-have-been-there-before-you track. You are going to have to take the crap but you’ll get through to the funky bit, I promise and so does Paul. Listen to him! He’s hurting but he knows he’s going to make it. So are you.

The Light of Day – the Divine Comedy: The kind of thing your parents tell you when you break up from your first love affair. Unfortunately, for all that, the message is no less true.

“I feel shit now, but I know in the end I’ll be ok.” It says.

You may not believe this if you’ve just been jilted for the first time but trust me, you will get through. You will look back and – although you may not laugh like they said – you will smile and yes, everything will be ok. I’m sorry but I’m afraid in this instance your parents are right. Don’t worry about how strong you are, either, you’re tougher than you know.

Always the Sun – The Stranglers: Once again, you need to look out for the original version from the album Dream Time not the subsequent versions. The message? Things look a bit crap but they’ll be ok in the end.

Stage Three: Acceptance – I don’t want to go back but I’m not quite over it.
Once you’ve listened to Doctor BC’s magic songs for long enough, the light may dawn. You may begin to realise that it’s going to work out. That said, you probably still wish you could just fast forward through this bit to the point where you are completely over it, absorbing any useful lessons as you go.

Too Young to Die – The Divine Comedy: The weary acceptance that you need to develop, that change is good because it helps you to do that, even when it is painful. The other song I played when I lost my job. It may be about changing your life, yourself but it’s just as handy to listen to if some annoying bastard has come along and changed it for you.

The Waiting – Tom Petty: Waiting is the hardest part. Waiting not to feel crap, waiting to get on with life again. Sometimes you feel like you’re struggling and getting nowhere. Stop struggling is probably the answer.

There is NO Stage Four: You can zone out at any point in the process.
When you want something to take you away and make you forget life is happening.

Comfortably Numb – Pink Floyd: Pink Floyd are knocking on. Youngsters, they may all look l like your dad – or possibly your granddad – but they are responsible for the perfect song to zone to – possibly one of the most beautiful pop melodies of all time. The words are about detachment from reality and describe the feeling extremely well, so well that it’s easy to detach for a while if you listen. The melody is extraordinarily uplifting – truly incredible. This got me through the first really crap time in my life – being bullied at school – and yet with all those connotations I still love the song. Very little else comes close.

Strung Out – Veldt: Similar deal, just switch off, zone out and enjoy. Great to play if you decide to alleviate your negative feelings by going for a drive. It’s the perfect music to watch streets, traffic and pedestrians slide past to.

Stage Five: Wahoo! I made it.
The moment when you suddenly realise that life is a bit fine and dandy again. You may be feeling amazed and perhaps, even, a bit smug that, gargantuan waves and all, the storms have failed to sink you.

I’ve Been This Way Before – Neil Diamond: This is from the album Serenade (I think) in 1975 so he’s beginning to lose the connection his early stuff has. It’s very slick, which makes it difficult to align with what he’s saying even though it is straight from the heart. BUT it’s still a cracking song and it does capture the. “Blimey! Did I survive that?” Moment well. It’s also at a point where he’s still Gospel influenced so there’s some nice keyboard work in there. Oh yes, and not forgetting that, spangly shirts and dodgy hair, aside, the man has a voice which, frankly, should come with a public health warning. A little sugar for the ladies, perhaps. Mmm Mmm!

Through the Dark – K T Tunstall: The last and best track on the album Eye to the Telescope. About coming to terms with where life has put you even if you thought, no believed, you were going to be somewhere else at this point. Accepting that no matter how strongly you believe you are making your own destiny, you’re not always calling the shots. It’s not what happens that counts, it’s how you react. You can’t control other people’s actions but you can control your own. You get the picture, I’m sure.

I Won’t Back Down – Johnny Cash: Because I fucking won’t and – clearly – he wasn’t going to, either! The original Tom Petty version is good but this is top-level, nobody-dicks-with-me stuff. A real pished weedgie rant of a song.

“D’you want some more?” It’s shouting as it reels drunkenly across Sauchiehall Street with a can of extra strong lager in one hand and the other on its crotch, struggling with it’s flies as it attempts to get it’s willy out so it can take a whizz on your shoes. “Do you? Do you? Bring it on!”

I hope you enjoyed my choice of tunes and that my choice of language hasn’t been too fruity.

More love… 5, March 2007

Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Miscarriage.
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8 comments

A month or two back, Mr BC and I went to a wine tasting. I went to queue for cheese and bread at the end while Mr BC being a bit less of a gannet, or possibly a bit smarter than I am, decided to wait. When I returned with cheese for two he told me he’d been watching the queue and noticed one woman immediately. “Coo” He thought. “She looks nice, I hope she turns round so I can get a look at her face.” When she did, he discovered that the tasty looking lady was none other than his wife. Although he described this as a disappointment he was clearly quite chuffed or he wouldn’t have gone to the effort of telling me.

I was feeling very low today.  But going into my feed, I found that one of the bloggers I like to read regularly had posted a clip of Pink Floyd performing “Comfortably Numb”.

Pink Floyd are one of my three favourite groups of all time.  Alternating with the Beatles and bits of Mr Spangly (12 Songs and anything up to about 1970).

Comfortably Numb is one of my favourite songs a desert island disk.  Comfortably Numb got me through being bullied at school, the words describe dislocation from reality and they take you with them, for a little 3 minute break from REAL LIFE – the melody is uplifting and makes me think of looking forward and of hope.  So this morning, when I am supremely hormonally challenged and need somebody to say, “It’ll be ok” up pops the perfect song.  I listen to it and before I know it I am flying… I’m a bit sad still but it’s only hormones and although, before I told myself it would pass, now I know!  The sensible part of my brain has regained control and I feel calm.  Mmm… might have to go listen again.

Here’s the link.  Enjoy

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