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Not chore I like it… 24, August 2006

Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Play.
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Today I will not be mostly talking about household flora and fauna because I have an impending visit from the in-laws so as with the arrival of any elder generation members of either side of my family it’s a choice of do nothing and leap to guilt-driven aggressive defensive stance of the vile state of the house (not recommended) or all hands to the hoover. This is miles worse than doing nothing but subsequently it is easier on my hugely enlarged guilt gland when Mr BC returns home as there is no need for aggressive defense so instead of becoming PMT WOMAN denizen of arch evil (complete with underpants on the outside of my tights… well, stops them falling down…) I remain mild mannerd Mrs BC.

I suspect there is a talent to cleaning, one which I don’t have. I take to it like a duck to quantum physics (hmm…. should there be two u’s in quantuum? Dunno.). I seem to be able to make the house look worse after I’ve hoovered than before. How can this be? If I end up going to hell my personal damnation will be to clean some house for eternity. It’ll be really untidy and I’ll be having to put everything away so I forget where it is, clean all sorts of pointless areas like on top of the kitchen cupboards and I’ll really resent doing it but feel I have to – pretty much the standard mind set for any woman cleaning anywhere I’d imagine… except when we’re doing it for a living, that’s different, there’s a point to it then, we’re getting paid and we’re performing a much needed service for some poor woman, ergo all her sodding cleaning. I wish I could afford a cleaner!

Why are all tidy people such fascists? One thing out of place and they go stark staring mental, aren’t they smart enough to remember where they put things? Loads of people I know have this thing about the Bauhaus look, you know, a huge room with a glass table, a black leather and chrome couch and a white carpet. Why? For a start, how would you relax somewhere like that, you can’t eat, you can’t drink a cup of anything that might stain, water and nothing else is admissable… and it scares the crap out of your guests. There you are happily chatting away and all they’re thinking is, “shit, have I spilled anything, did I wipe my feet properly, have I smeared anything on the carpet?” Trust me, they’re just a bag of nerves, although of course, if you do the minimalist Bauhaus thing properly you don’t care because you want them to eff off home and stop cluttering up your ordered house. So if they are scared it just means your decor is having the desired effect.

Past 2.00pm. I think I have “left it all to do” as the commentators say.

I have stymied myself well and truly this morning by deciding to find out about animation courses in the UK and getting completely sidetracked. You see I want to make an animated film. Part of me thinks the smart way to do this is to go back to university or whatever it’s called nowadays and study animation. However another much bigger part of me thinks that I could save a lot of time, effort and more to the point, money, finding out the stuff I need to know by READING SOME BOOKS. Radical huh? It makes sense though, most universities have their recommended reading lists on-line and I’m sure reading the listed reading would be just as intellectually edifying… and cheaper. It’s not like I need to make contacts or get a job, the planned film is entirely for my own amusement.

Of course, once I’d got to the major sites, I started looking at the sponsors and experts and before you can say tra-la-la I’ve gone off on a giant tangent to the Cosgrove Hall productions website and then to a fan site maintained by a splendid lady who is much funnier and a much better artist than me….. If you like Dangermouse, Duckula and the like then I’m sure you’ll enjoy her site, it’s in my links section under Cosgrove Hall Ate My Brain… mmm, mine too.

Oops! 2.49pm… That’s another 10 minutes I’ve wasted writing that then. Glances at “To Do List” for the day…. eyes rove up and down items, pen poised to tick off those completed so smug feeling can be enjoyed and workload left evaluated… electronic BT lady style brain voice kicks in “there are… no… completed items” Oh deary me. My album has finished, too and I’ve been sitting here with my headphones on not listening to anything for the last two hours… oooooodd.

Never mind, there will now be a short hiaitus while I entertain my in-laws and then disappear off for the weekend to a party (splendid!). It should be short, so long as I remember to come back. I didn’t last time, of course, that’s why there’s such a huge hole in my blog… not that I’m going to try and write something every day or anything… that would make it a drag. The whole point of it is that it’s meant to be fun because it’s not homework and because by keeping my identity top secret I can say whatever I like, things I could never say in a month of Sundays if anybody knew who I was.

Pipple toot.

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