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Holidays…. 16, October 2006

Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Play.
Tags: ,

Hello again,

In case you’re wondering where I’ve been the answer is writing a very long and complicated post about how to take an iPod to pieces – yes, I’m feeling insufferably smug about diagnosing the problem and mending it – and on holiday.

Once again, Mr BC and I made the unwise decision to seek autumn sun. We should have learned about this by now but still we persist.

Our holiday, though great fun, was not the warm beach break we were expecting. Not to say that loafing round a hotel room in big towelling bathrobes isn’t fun – especially when you’ve nothing on underneath – the room had a DVD player and we had DVDs to watch, we also had books including one huge Ben Elton novel which was blown, wholesale, out of Mr BC’s hands during one of our attempts at “sun” bathing on the beach and which had to be retrieved from the sea. My towel went with it. A big, fluffy hotel towel which should have been far too heavy for the wind to whip up and dump out to sea… well not exactly out to sea but far enough for me to have to swim to retrieve it. Then again, while I swam to fetch it, the wind blew my wooden beach sun lounger over.

Do any of you remember the Douglas Adams thing about the woman – or was it a man – who was a rain god? They didn’t know they were a rain god(ess) but it rained wherever they went. Sometimes, I feel like one of those. Mr BC and I have had some famously rainy holidays. Like the time we went to Italy in September. It was a crap summer here but Europe had a drought… until we went there. The heavens opened on our first day and it rained pretty constantly the whole time.

A few years later, we went on holiday in Madeira – famed, as it is, for its clement climate we thought we were in for… well… at least a couple of days of sun. On our first day, more rain fell than they’d had the entire year put together (this was in November). It hadn’t rained for three months but it managed to do so for pretty much the whole 10 days we were there. It wasn’t gentle rain either, walk three yards in it and you looked like someone had hurled a bucket of water over you. There were sunny intervals but with the exception of two days, they were short – too short to be able to do anything.

This year we were in Crete – Greece, or Crete, are usually great for sunny autumns but last week there was abnormal rainfall. Some parts of Greece had more rain than they’ve had for 50 years while the rest of Europe – including windy old Blighty – enjoyed glorious sunshine. On mainland Greece there was widespread flooding and even a tornado. In Crete there was rain, thunder and lightening.

We snatched quick dips in the sea during the rare sunny intervals and one day had a very nice walk… well… I liked it, Mr BC eventually refused to go any further and so we turned for home.

Other days, we gave up dodging the rain and investigated what fish do in inclement weather by pursuing a policy of rainy snorkelling. It was nice and warm in the sea. Not that we could see much close in. The water seeping into the bay from the hills above was full of orange soil. One day when it poured with rain all day, Mr BC gave up and did some work – he had a lap top with him – so I decided I’d try rainy swimming – I wasn’t sure it was a smart move to go snorkelling on a deserted beach in an ocean whose currents and peccadilloes were unknown to me, which is why I went in the pool . There was also the small worry that my snorkel might attract an unwelcome bolt of lightning. It was that kind of day. I swam for an hour to assuage my cabin fever. The water was warm. A lot warmer than outside. I hid my towel and clothes under a lounger in a plastic bag. My sandals filled with water.

Is this a special skill d’you think? Could I make a living out of going to places where it doesn’t rain and ensuring, by the wonders of sod’s law, that it does? How much would people pay me to end drought in places like the Sudan by the mere expedient of going there?

Snorkelling in goggles is an eye opener. I discovered why masks go over your nose. Blimey! I never realised how much water an average set of sinuses could contain. Standing on a pontoon while water ran from my conk as if it was an up-ended bucket was an interesting experience although luckily hardly anyone was braving the beach that day. Masks aren’t much better though, I only have to see some barking fish under water, smile or worse, laugh and my bulging hamster cheeks let the water in through my dimples… Is this a design fault or is it because diving is a SERIOUS business, for grown ups? Perhaps smiley people aren’t cut out for it.

Never mind, I have a great batch of humorous photos which have arrived by e-mail. I will share these with you over the course of the week. Not forgetting the fabulous wild weather photos from our holiday…. actually I probably won’t be sharing those!



1. Mrs. Nicklebee - 16, October 2006

So the chaos fairies found you, eh? This has got to be the most hysterical post I have read in a while! Between your “accent” and the sinus thing, I’m dying here! I will definitely snorkle with a mask if ever I go snorkling!!

2. Mrs. Nicklebee - 16, October 2006

By the way, were you writing a post about another iPod adventure or were you referring to the episode a while back?

3. mrsmetaphor - 17, October 2006

I think you ought to be able to make a living from this skill of yours…at the very least you should visit more countries suffering from drought…you could be a kind of missionary, only you’d bring rain instead of religion.

4. babychaos - 17, October 2006

Didn’t they just! I’m writing about the same difficulty with my iPOD except that it broke again after I fixed it so I had to get a spare part which I have now inserted and it does seem to be er… fixed (crosses fingers hopefully). As for visiting other climes and bringing the gift of rain… yes! Although knowing my luck I’d discover my “gift” is for extreme conditions and I’d intensify the drought!



5. mrsmetaphor - 21, October 2006

well…you could always become an iPod tech if the rain missionary work doesn’t pan out…why am I fixated on getting you a job? I puzzle myself…

6. babychaos - 21, October 2006

I guess it must be a lot more obvious than I realise that I don’t know what I’m for…. except I do, I write stuff and I’m an artist… ok so I want to be a pop star but I can only play the violin and although I have relative pitch they’re very distant relatives and I can’t carry a tune without heavy lifting equipment…. ho hum…. artist and writer it is then.



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