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A Different Kind of BC 26, October 2006

Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Play, Work.
Tags: ,

I work in an office which is separate from the rest of the house, down at the bottom of the garden. Because our back door is out of sight, behind a hedge, I always lock the house when I’m down here so returning to get a drink of water or have my lunch is always fraught with a frisson of excitement.

Having pulled the door of my office to and heard the Yale lock click, where are my keys? Are they inside, in which case I will have successfully locked myself out of both for the rest of the day, or with me? This heart stopping moment occurs regardless of whether the keys are actually in my hand at the time. In other words, if Mr BC is out at a meeting or not working from home, returning to the house is a pain. It takes ages too because once indoors I always notice something, like the hoovering, which I should have – but haven’t – done.

My office has electric light and heating but there is no sewage or water supply so I also have to return to the house to get a drink to use the lavatory. This is highly inconvenient. A pain in the arse in fact – if you’ll excuse the pun. Because although I can spend a whole morning out shopping without even thinking about going to the loo, hell, I can spend a whole day out and not need to go or sleep a whole night and not need to, something about being in my office seems to precipitate the urgent need to have a wee within about 5 minutes of sitting back down after the last one. All day.

Is it the water I drink? I try to do the good-for-you thing and drink a litre a day. Is it the 3 cups of coffee I have every morning? I used to find that drinking more water rather than less – up to a point – reduced the monotonous regularity with which I had to visit the bathroom. Not any more! It feels like I need to wee every 10 minutes. No sooner have I become suitably engrossed in my work when I realise I need to go to the sodding loo again. It’s all I seem to do these days; wee, wee, wee. I have the bladder control of a mouse, which as we all know, is without a bladder and consequently sans BC of any description.

I reckon this must be age…. the position within the monthly cycle makes a difference, too, of course. I’ve at least 7lbs of water retention to get rid of over the course of the next week and a dress size to drop – yes I have two wardrobes which have nothing to do with diet. They are AM and PM in an entirely different sense to the clock though they do tie in with the calender.

Then there’s the amount! Even with the monthly thing, there’s a lot more coming out than I’m putting in. How does that happen? I know there’s water in everything so fine, some is going to come from what I eat but even so… By rights I reckon I should look like a two week old balloon by now. Where does it all come from?

Anyone else have this trouble or is it just me?

I’m getting on a plane to the States the day after tomorrow, please god give me an aisle seat or the poor person stuck next to me will have strangled me before the plane clears the coast….

Ho hum….


1. Mrs. Nicklebee - 28, October 2006

Oh, you’re coming to the States! Anywhere near Michigan by any chance??

I can relate to the inconvenient timing of bodily functions. It can be exasperating but what can you do. For me it has to do more with food allergies than anything else.

By the way, I meant to say that I think it’s great that you’re so supportive of Mr. BC. The American media regularly portrays men as baffoons so it’s always nice to hear about a woman showing consideration for her man like that. I’m sure he appreciates it, too. 🙂

2. babychaos - 28, October 2006

Mr BC is a real star so it’s not difficult. He is funny and witty and my soul mate! We have this kind of mutual fan club thing going on…. 😉

BTW, Blimey is short for “blind me”. Originally it was Gor Blimey, Gor standing for “God” and blimey for “Blind Me” – put them together and you get the original Regency (I think) sweary phrase.

Once it got shortened to Gor Blimey and adopted by London Cabbies (and others, obviously but you know what I mean) people forgot where it came from and what it actually stands for. Nowadays it’s mild cussing with the Gawd/Gor but the Blimey is pretty much ok on its own kind of like saying dang or the like.



3. Mrs. Nicklebee - 30, October 2006

Ah, I see. Ya learn something new everyday!

4. mrsmetaphor - 31, October 2006

I just used that word in an email today to a friend…she misread my first email, in which I described going to my first Mary Kay party and she thought I meant I was SELLING it…eek…

so in reply I said, “Blimey, that would be tragic if it were true…”

I guess I used it correctly…hooray!

Have a good visit here in the states…wish you were coming to Tennessee…we have Graceland, you know…lol

5. mrsmetaphor - 31, October 2006

Oh..and I love your work…the word which comes to me is that you are an Illustrator…think along those lines. If madonna can write books, so can you…(and better ones….)

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