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Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady 21, November 2006

Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Humour, Life and living, Play.
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Yes, it’s true, I am three times a lady and I want to get back to being only one lady-sized. I have had a fantastic time in the States but boy the side effects are scary! I’ve put on 7lbs. Yep SEVEN pounds… that’s half a stone, or somewhere around the two kilo region! Yikes!

I have this big stomach that sticks over everything. I think the technical term is “Muffin Top”. Any looser and my trousers will not stay up but tighten my belt too much and an evil roll of paunch flops over the waistband. It’s frightening. I have to keep stopping to do the bus-driver’s trouser hoik (even though they’re lovely people, many bus drivers are zepplin sized here in the uk – it brings the Trouser Height Conundrum into play, below the belly, across the belly or above the belly). Mmm… it’s across for me! Lard a-go-go!

It looks like my arse has slipped round! If I drew a line down the middle with eyeliner nobody’d be able to tell the difference between the back and the front! Is this what they mean by arse about face? It’s terrible! I am doing the Montingnac diet… please, please let it work!

I should probably tell you about my travels soon… rest assured, my thoughts on America are on their way, albeit slowly… it’s just that all the things other people were going to do for me while I was away haven’t been done so I’ve got to do them all in a week! Ah t’was ever thus. When my life’s my own again, watch this space…

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Comments»

1. Mrs. Nicklebee - 25, November 2006

“Muffin Top”. Ugh. I resemble that remark! That settles it. I am going to start eating healthier. Starting tomorrow.

2. babychaos - 28, November 2006

You and me both! I’m trying this barking diet called the Montignac Method… sort of Atkins but with carbohydrates you can eat – I guess there’s a dash of GI diet in there too. It’s the only diet where you’re allowed to drink alcohol – which is why I’m doing it of course.

Cheers

BC

3. mrsmetaphor - 29, November 2006

Muffin Top, that is classic…I, too resemble that remark, Mrs N.

BC, I’m glad you are back!
I felt as though I kept driving by your dark and empty house all these weeks…
waiting, waiting, waiting

4. babychaos - 29, November 2006

Bless you! Yep, nothing to fear, the lights are on and somebody is home, well… sort of…

The posts are either going to be longer and further apart or shorter and more often now as I have lots of real work to do which is a bit of a pain really as I much prefer un-real work, like this!

Hey ho, needs must, bills will be paid and presents for my husband bought with my own, rather than his, money!

Pipple toot!

BC


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