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The Return of the Chaos Fairies 26, February 2007

Posted by babychaos in Adult Content, General Wittering, Life and living, Light Fluff, Play, whinging.
Tags: , , ,

I went to a baby shower today. Not something I’ve ever done before being British but I know South Africans and Americans do them for sure. It’s a nice idea, you go and have lunch somewhere and give the person about to have the baby stuff that will be useful, in my case, chocolate for the lady, Drawnbyhand ABC alphabet flash cards for the baby and a book for her husband so he has something to take his mind off the worst bits during the labour thing. The whole project was dogged by disaster.

First up, while printing off the flashcards this morning my print cartridge gave out. None of the four spares I have will work. The printer chunters a little and then, though the cartridge is full, the empty light flashes on. It won’t even print. I cannot understand what could be wrong and wonder if it is due to the damp in my office. It’s in the garden and it’s not centrally heated. As the minutes tick down to departure time I began to panic. Mr BC finds me putting the fourth cartridge in, almost in tears of frustration, I’ve only an hour and a half and I have to trim them, laminate them, cut them to size… ditto for the packaging I’ve designed. With his patient and kindly help it transpires that I have got the number of my printer confused and bought 4 cartridges which look the same but are designed to fit another one. Bollocks! What an arse! Channelling Homer or what?

Never mind, they were from car boot sales, anyway, so none of them cost more than £2.00… a good thing since most HP printer cartridges are about £34.00 each, off the shelf.

Never mind. Mr BC, possibly Saint Mr BC by this time, goes and gets the spare one he has for his printer which is the same type as mine. Phew saved at the last minute! I stick it in but no, the stupid thing will only print pink. My original will print a colour sheet showing me that the yellow has all but run out so I know inserting 4 wrong cartridges has not hurt the printer but Mr BC’s cartridge cannot be persuaded, for love nor money, to print in Cyan or Yellow. Luckily Mr BC comes to the rescue again, printing the remaining cards for me on the printer in his home office from a pdf file. Lucky we both work from home. Initially he offers his printer but, though exactly the same as mine, it has sent my lap top Coventry since I have started printing through USB instead of the serial port. My current lap top doesn’t have a serial port so there is little I can do to effect a reconciliation. The colour on the PDF is rubbish compared to Freehand but Mr BC’s computer is a work computer and belongs to a strongly protected network. He’s not allowed to add his own software so the only mutual programme to both is Adobe Acrobat. Never mind. It’s not bad and at least it will get printed.

I power up the laminator and start to trim and laminate the half I have printed already. Mr BC brings me the rest. They are OK considering and I’m so grateful I could cry. Everything is finished, more or less in time and after ringing to say I’ll be a little late I set off.

So, the baby shower is at a friend’s house, well, obviously but not the friend having the Baby, another one. This girl and her husband moved about a year ago after having a daughter. I have only been to her house 3 or 4 times. Each time we’ve tried a different route and I realise that I don’t actually remember where she lives. Never mind, I stick my PDA into my bag, that’ll have her new address on it, after all, I’ve programmed her new number into my phone. I head off in the general direction but soon the route begins to look unfamiliar. I begin to think I may have taken a wrong turn and be heading in the wrong direction. I remember the journey with Mr BC and know it’s one of two villages… I stop and look up her address on my PDA. It’s the old one. I haven’t changed it.

Bollocks (again)! What an arse!

There is nothing for it. I have to ring her and admit that I have forgotten where she lives. Luckily she finds this as funny as I do. She talks me through the route but I still managed to get lost when I finally get to her village. There is a ford a deep one, too deep for a Lotus so I have to gun through it, water spraying several feet into the air and several yards out either side… I have a horrible feeling I have soaked a woman jogger but am in too much of a hurry to stop, I have a bowl of soup in the car and since it’s the starter being late matters.

In the end I manage to be there a mere quarter of an hour after I promised. Phew!

Even better I did, at least, managed to remember where I lived and find my way home again.   (This reminds me of a joke, see post below.)

This is worse than I am usually. As my mother said when I told her this morning.

“But darling, you’re the sensible one!”

What with our tentative efforts to create Spawn has Mr BC shagged my brains out? Could be. I don’t think we have managed to do nooky at any moments likely to result in duffage, this month, so I can only assume I am about to have the most enormous, god-awful period in history. My tits ache, too. BUT, I don’t feel sick and I’m not perennially knackered so I don’t think I’ll blow my £7.00 pregnancy test until after the date I’m due for my period. BTW what do they put in pregnancy tests to make them SEVEN QUID a pop? Gold dust?

So… chaos fairies firmly back in my neck of the woods then.



1. susie - 26, February 2007

At least you turned up. I completely forgot to go to school last week and then had to tell the teacher I forgot what day of the week it was. I do blame the PMT in my case but still durrrr how daft did I feel!! :o)

2. mrsmetaphor - 26, February 2007

You know, BC, there is something slightly comforting in finding out today that the Chaos Fairies are still alive and kicking…it explains a GREAT DEAL about how life has been unfolding here…perhaps they are cyclical, like the phases of the moon, yes?


by the way, I’ll look it up but when DH and I were doing the baby dance thing I got my tests online…I had a stash of ’em. I’lll try to find the link for you and send it on. I warn you though, it’s like having chocolate in the house…love it and hate it at the same time…

3. Geldoff - 27, February 2007

That’s the thing about electrical goods: they Know when you’re most vulnerable and they strike with the speed and power of the Mossad.

And if you listen very carefully in the silence that inevitably follows an attack I swear that you can hear them sniggering softly to each other. And plotting their next attack …

4. Mrs. Nicklebee - 27, February 2007

I think it is actually platinum dust in pregnancy tests nowadays. They have found that it makes the tests more sensitive to higher than normal levels of hCG.

It never occurred to me that you Brits don’t generally do baby showers. I’m curious now. Do you have a custom for when first babies are born over there? I honestly don’t know when baby showers started over here but I’ve never known of a baby to be born without someone having a shower for it. I’m sure there are women in this country who have not been blessed in that way by their friends or family but I don’t know of any.

Here, I made you some tea and bought you a brick of chocolate to comfort you in your misery.
c(__) [HERSHEY]

5. Mrs. Nicklebee - 27, February 2007

Oopsy. It didn’t turn out right. You’ll just have to trust me that it is tea and a Hershey brick. 😉

6. babychaos - 27, February 2007

Hello everyone!

Thanks for your comments!

Susie, that’s up there with me forgetting to put my bra on and turning up for work wondering why my boobs felt a bit “loose”. Welcom to the world of Gumbee Theatre.

Mrs M I hope the Chaos Fairies are not giving you a hard time. I have a lot of catching up to do so I must mosey over to your blog and find out what they’re up to.

Geldoff yes! I swear I heard it giggling when I went into my office yesterday morning. Bastard thing!

Mrs N, there’s me thinking the hCG was a cricket ground in Australia! When it comes to baby showers, or showers at all, strangely enough, we don’t. It’s a nice idea though. I will have to see if they do it in Oz and NZ. Oh yes… and idea of troughing a great deal of chocolate ALWAYS appeals to me, even at this time in the morning!



7. GeekLady - 1, March 2007

The top of the line pregnancy tests are extremely sensitive, the one I bought pinged me pregnant a few days before my period was actually due to start. The Husband made me go to the OB to confirm, but my test was actually more sensitive than theirs which was just barely positive. It was so early you couldn’t even see the amniotic bubble in the ultrasound for another week.

8. babychaos - 1, March 2007

Holy smoke… I quite like the not knowing though, it’s a much nicer option than the 3 – 4 days of PMT I still have left if my oven is bun-free!



9. Kat - 3, March 2007

I just have to say that this: “I have a bowl of soup in the car and since it’s the starter being late matters”…is SO true. *lol*

BTW, we have baby showers here in Oz, too. My favourite is the “couple” shower where men are invited and have to do very unmanly baby things (like sculling beer out of baby bottles or forensic analysis of “soiled” nappies). Most people I know only have one baby shower (usually for the first baby).

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