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The Night before last I was mostly… 27, June 2007

Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Humour, Life and living, Light Fluff, Play.
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Spilling wine on the cat. A glass of red wine, to be precise, all over him, poor thing. He moved fast, I can tell you. One minute, there he is by his food bowl having a good old nosh the next, woosh!

He scampered to the middle of the room in his shock where he stopped, dropped the piece of food he had been munching on from his mouth and then ran for the door. Just to add to his trauma, the following day, when we had the plumber in, he spent most of the day locked in the garden shed – ok so he was curled up, fast asleep, on a pile of old rags but even so…

Poor little chap. Oops…

On a lighter note, I had to include this smashing letter from the problem page from some crap newspaper. I don’t know which one, exactly but you know the type, less reading matter than a roll of Andrex and lots of pictures – mostly of women without much on – and in a surprisingly thoughtful gesture to it’s mostly male, hand shandy-loving readers, almost as absorbent…

Anyway, you know we British have a bit of a name for avoiding confrontation or… well… anything awkward really, by just pretending it isn’t happening, ignoring it and hoping it’ll go away until it does… well here’s an example in print. Pure Python… Also proof that Miriam skims your letters and that her replies are computer generated using some kind of database. Yep, she should definitely get them to refine her answers engine…

For those readers who can’t read – or who have gone blind after years of examining the paper’s pictorial content too closely – there is a facility to phone in and listen to a recorded version of the letters and Miriam’s answers – on a premium £1 a minute phone line, of course! I particularly like the first line of the summary, just visible where the picture starts to blur, “Engine misfires and husband addicted to porn” – Miriam always listens and makes sure she fully understands the exact nature of each reader’s problem before she answers… NOT! (guffaw).

I should stop talking about it, the more I talk, the less funny it’s going to be. So please, enjoy…

Marjorie Proops Letter

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Comments»

1. cataclismical - 27, June 2007

roflmao! Classic!

Of course that answer is correct and what she should have done .. who on earth would go back home if they were 100 yards away from it????

2. Joe Drinker - 27, June 2007

Absolutely perfect response. Can you imagine the wife reading this? Not only did she spill her guts to the world, it didn’t get read, and was printed with asinine advice! Throw in a coupon for an oil change or brake pads and you’ve hit the poor taste trifecta.

Tomorrow’s headline: Local columnist Miriam found strangled with faulty fuel line – suspect likely from Essex

3. Brian - 27, June 2007

That is pure python! 🙂

I want to get a phone system that asks people to please press 1 if your engine misfires and husband addicted to porn. And to press 2 if your spouse leads a secret double life as a transvestite and your radiator’s sprung a leak. And finally to press three if you want to leave a message and secretly fancy wine-soaked felines. I can’t wait to get it installed.

Cheers!
Brian

4. babychaos - 28, June 2007

Glad you enjoyed it! I think if I was the lady I’d definitely be taking a contract out and as for the phone system… yep sounds brilliant!

Cheers

BC


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