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The last, positively LAST time I will whinge about trying to make babies… 24, September 2007

Posted by babychaos in Adult Content, General Wittering, Grumpy Old Bag, Life and living, whinging, winging.
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On the whole, as a repository for my mental trash, this blog works quite well. I’m pleased, overall, with the varied nature of the results. That’s why I’m very irritated with myself to be bloody wittering about not being pregnant again. It’s just that I’m a proactive person. Stuff happens, I evaluate the situation and do something. Waiting is not my strong point.

I’ll have a period in a day or two, I promise and we’ll all be back on track. It’s only particularly bad because this has been a particularly psycho month…

Never mind, two weeks of waiting are in the bag. Only somewhere between 24 hours or a week to go – depending which menstrual cycle I’m on and NO! Don’t try to follow me on your moped.

That said, as well as period pains and sore boobs, I have thrush (aren’t anonymous blog’s great, who could I tell that to in the real world, apart from my Mum) a sure sign that the painters will be arriving in next two or three days.

At least I seem to be able to handle the temperature charting in a spirit of genuine enquiry rather than the desperate need to know which seems to dog my other family planning activities… except for the nookie, of course, thank heavens that’s still normal.

I do find this difficult though. If it was the 60s I’d be fine. I’d do my usual diet and when I got pregnant I’d reduce the exercise a little but not too much and that’d be it. It isn’t the 60s though, it’s the paranoid 21st Century so the advice conflicts.

On the one hand they tell you to avoid making a big thing out of trying to make children. Relax and continue with your normal routine while you try to conceive, they tell you. Possibly eating more healthily and taking exercise a bit more. Do what’s right for you, they say.

Well, doing what’s right for me, if staying sane is the right thing to do, is to cook a good meal every night and drink a glass of wine with it – not for nothing is my ancestry French – and I’m talking good wine here, too. Doing what’s right for me is having two apples for breakfast with a slice of aged Guyere, Brie and Comte. Nope, none of them are pasturised. Doing what’s right for me is enjoying exercise, quite strenuous exercise at that, 3 times a week.

On the other hand there is this suggestion that your baby is in dire danger from the moment you conceive and the slightest wrong move on your part could wipe it out.

Perhaps, what they really mean is, do what’s right for you, so long as it’s what we tell you…

That poses a tricky problem for me. It means there are going to be two or three weeks every month when I might contain a baby but I don’t know if it’s there or not and have no way of telling.

The suggestion is that once you are pregnant, if you should eat any unpasturised cheese – ie any cheese worth eating – drink wine or run around too fast then, if you have conceived and are growing a baby it will die. So what do you do, three weeks on the wagon and not exercising and two weeks off? Go on the wagon entirely under the guise of “getting healthy”?

I love my husband, I love our life together. I love my life and I want children to be part of it but I don’t want my life to be making children. It’s stressful and I am finding that making changes like giving up alcohol and cheese merely focus me on all the negatives of not conceiving when, month after month, my period arrives. That’s just going to make me miserable, a state in which, I’d lay bets, I am even less likely find myself in a position to leap up and cry “bingo” in the Mecca Hall that is baby making.

Conversely, if you have a miscarriage, they tell you it’s just bad luck that killed your baby and nothing to do with the fact you drank half a bottle of wine a night for the first six weeks of its life because you didn’t know it was there. So… on the one hand, there is this immense pressure “if you don’t give up all these things you’ll kill your baby” on the other when it all goes tits up, the story is “your baby died of bad luck, not because of what you ate and drank”.

Does that mean the whole food thing is a load of old cobblers then? I know they’ve just recently changed their minds about peanuts – peanut allergy is lower in countries where they eat a lot of peanuts, suggesting eschewing them while pregnant is not necessarily the answer. So the advice is now, “eat them unless you have a peanut allergic person in your family”.

As you can see. I am bad at waiting

Everyone says is. “Relax, you will conceive in your own sweet time.”

I say. “Fuck off!”*

* Mrs M, I think you may enjoy that one!

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Comments»

1. mrsmetaphor - 24, September 2007

lol, you’re right, I did enjoy that one!

The situation sucks and the process is not what it used to be for sure, you’re spot on there. I blame George Bush but that’s my own damage (and I blame everything on George Bush right now because it feels good.)

2. babychaos - 25, September 2007

Absolutely, why not, it’s not like you’re going to ruining his chances of a third term… well I suppose he might change the law between then and now but..

Here in blighty we blame Tony Blair… oh yes and Margaret Thatcher, not that she’s Prime Minister any more but she’s great to blame for anything.

Cheers

BC


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