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A Meme… 6, March 2008

Posted by babychaos in Adult Content, General Wittering, Life and living, Light Fluff, Play.
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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am venturing into the world of the Meme. Thank you to Noble Savage for doing this one and bringing it to my attention. Since the idea of banging on about my wedding day appeals, I’ve decided to give it a go too…

1. Where / how did you meet?

At university. Mr BC had the room below mine, I used to read up stuff, make notes etc sitting in a comfy chair by the window. I used to drink coffee and if it went cold I’d tip the dregs out of the window, little knowing they were running down the wall and dribbling all down (or into) the opened window below. Eventually the occupant of the room came up to complain. Enter Mr BC.

2. How long have you known each other?

19 Years this January.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?

Four or five months… It was so long ago, I forget. I do remember thinking what an amusing bloke he was and that there was something about him… I had heard a lot about him before I met him and I think they’d bigged him up too much. So I just used to think… so what’s the big deal. I changed my mind the night he asked me out, which was lucky.

4. How long did you date before you were engaged?

Um… 8 years. I kid you not. Neither of us had a proper job or any money and as he lived here, an area of the country where my portfolio of skills is about as useful on the local job market as a chocolate soup ladle and about as desirable as a fart in a space suit, it wasn’t like I could up sticks, move and make any meaningful contribution to the household finances… and he takes a long time to make a decision.

He proposed to me at a Ball at King’s College in Cambridge – outside on the bridge there. Very romantic. He asked and I said I’d have to think about it, he told me not to think for long ruining my I’ll have to think about it, count to 10 I’ve thought about it, yes joke.

5. How long was your engagement?

About 6-9 months, basically, the time it took to sort out the wedding.

6. How long have you been married?

12 years.

7. What is your anniversary?

June 17th.

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?

About 250, I reckon. We had to ban kids, we felt bad but there were 75 my side of the family and 35 his, each one taking up a place so it was our cousins’ kids or our own friends… A no brainer I’m afraid. There were some people we’d never heard of that my mother insisted we invite but to give her her due, she did leave a few off the list. It was in our garden, in a tent, which was lucky because, as I may have mentioned, it was pissing with rain with gale force winds.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?

A white one, with icing, three tiers, I think… sponge on the bottom two to eat then and one for er hem a “Christening cake” except we weren’t planning a family so I think Mum and Dad ate it at their 30th wedding anniversary party a little while after. It was decorated by one of my Mum’s mates who was pretty damn good at it. I still have the royal icing flowers from both that and the one she made for my 21st.

10. Where was your wedding?

In my old school chapel – well, I grew up there, too. It’s a huge great big French Gothic thing which looks a bit like Chartres cathedral and is positioned on top of a windy hill just outside Brighton.

11. What did you serve for the meal?

Heaven knows, salad, cold meats, probably coronation chicken and new potatoes. I remember it being very good but I can’t recall what it was. There were fabulous bites to start with and I’d had four glasses of champagne before I sat down to eat. I then went round all the 28 tables to chat to everyone and had a glass of wine on 23 of them. We went to the pub in the evening… 4 brandies. Don’t think I’ve ever been so deliriously drunk… or happy.

I think there were strawberries and cream for pudding – geez my Mum and I put so much care and attention into that menu and I don’t remember a thing about it! There would have been a chocolate something as well as the strawberries, I suspect and I do know that by special request of my father, “please, no fucking salmon” there was no fucking salmon.

We provided our own wine, Peter Lehman Grenache to drink which went down very well, can’t remember what the white wine was, the caterer may have broken the mould and had some good wines on offer – she was excellent – so the white may have been hers – I think the champagne was Laytons own, very nice it was too.

12. How many people were in your bridal party?

My two incredibly tall thin bridesmaids (I’m tall but curvy rather than skinny so it was the 1950s actress look versus two 1960s Twiggy clones) and my niece who was about five at the time. As I’d spent the previous year going to one wedding every weekend and the bridesmaids had worn peach at every fricking one, I put mine in green dresses, same kind of shape as mine only trendier and more user friendly so they could actually wear them afterwards, if they wanted to. I had them made by the same woman who made my dress.

13. Are you still friends with them all?

Absolutely, one is going to pop sprog number 2 about 8 weeks before the Muffin, the other is the one in Leeds with the pull up bar I fell off last year and clearly, I still see my niece – although she’s a leggy 60’s Twiggy clone now and all.

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony?

Are you kidding? I think my Dad nearly did but that was during his speech. During the actual ceremony he spend most of the time competing with me to see who could sing the hymns at the loudest possible volume. Mr BC and I spent most of the time giggling. I walked up this 100 ft aisle with my dad and there he is grinning at the end. I get there he looks me up and down, looks down the big eff-off train and back and says “Hello!”. With this great big little boy grin on his face.

We’d meant to write “Help me I am being kidnapped” on the soles of his shoes so that the people in the first few rows would see it when he was kneeling down but we couldn’t find a bold enough pen… That was probably lucky on the face of it.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?

All of it! The whole thing was a blast from start to finish. It still ranks as one of the most enjoyable piss ups I’ve ever attended! Some of the best fun I’ve ever had in my life.

16. Any funny moments?

I was laughing pretty much all day but I can’t really remember what about mostly stupid jokes, I expect; his, mine or other guests’.

Otherwise, I caught my veil by the comb as it blew off my head on the way up the drive to the church. One of my mates from school had some cool old cars and had kindly provided us with a dark green 1920s Lagonda.

It was WAY cool but sans roof, so I had to do the journey there in a Peugeot 205 (very salubrious) with veil and 8ft train stuffed in the back. It all puffed up around me like some giant meringue, it was hilarious… Then we swapped cars half way up the drive and poor man, his had about an inch of water sloshing about in the bottom by that time, god knows what it did to the leather seats.

17. Any big disasters?

Not really… When we “went away” ie drove round the block so the old biddies could go home and then returned to the party, I lobbed my flowers over my head as per tradition but nobody got them because they landed on the roof of the tent.

Mr BC gave a very funny and actually very cheeky speech so the Best Man foolishly offered me the right to reply. So I got up and went on off the cuff for a minute or two as you do and after going through the routine about how Mr BC was tidy to the point of OCD and that I believed the real one had been stolen by gypsies and he was a cyborg his Dad had quickly rustled up before his Mum came home (supporting evidence, that his feet don’t smell and only a robot could be that ruthlessly efficient).

I then proceeded to tell practically every funny story about us as a couple that the Best Man had used in his speech. So poor guy when he got up he had cards and he pretty much just said “Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s great to be here…” Before shuffling a stack of about 8 note-laden cue cards to the back the pile and reading “I give you, The Bridesmaids*” off the last one.

I felt terrible but he was very kind and said he realised it might happen but that it was worth it to see Mr BC getting a dose of his own medicine on the cheeky speech front.

*Or whatever it is the best man toasts.

18. Where did you go on honeymoon?

Greece. It was great. I collected pretty stones – they’re still in our bathroom – and Mr BC found a medieval arrowhead (a bit more interesting).

19. How long were you gone?

A week

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?

I would have it the following day. It absolutely pissed it down and there were gale force winds but the next day the sun came out and we had one of the hottest summers on record – 1995 – and it didn’t rain for three months. I would also ask the Best Man what was in his speech so I could leave him something to say and I would stretch out time and make it go on longer. It was over far too quickly.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep in?

Whichever side is nearest the bog, I usually wake up needing a pee in the night.

22. What size is your bed?

British Kingsize.

23. Greatest strength as a couple?

We are best friends. I still get that thing where my heart skips a little if I make him laugh. Both of us love collecting small stories of funny things that have happened during the day to tell the other when we get home.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?

We are very different in some ways so it took us a while to shake down and get used to living in the same space. He’s very tidy and comes from a welcoming but absolutely immaculate home. I am very untidy and come from the archetypal mad professor’s house, there is ivy growing in the cupboard under my parent’s stairs. They haven’t done anything to encourage it, they don’t know where it comes from and they try to kill it regularly but they are just the kind of people things like that happen to… so they’ve kind of given up with conventional tidiness.

They leave everything out, that way, they see it from time to time and are reminded where it is. Think Professor Emmet Jones’ place in Back to the Future.

25. Who literally pays the bills?

He is the one who does the earning and as the one who was originally a bit more of a control freak, he therefore pays most of them although I pay some of the smaller ones, things like the milkman, the window cleaner and stuff like that, as and when.

26. What is your song?

I think there are probably two, when I first met him, one of the things that drew me to him was that he was the only person I’d ever met, apart from my brother, who knew all the words to an old punk song called “Gordon is a Moron” by Jilted John. However, “You and Me Song” by the Wannadies is also close to summing us up.

Obscure, as usual, see YouTube feeds at bottom if you wish for enlightenment.

27. What did you dance your first dance to?

Absolutely no idea… probably at a gig. We didn’t have dancing at the wedding, that’s how we could afford to invite 250 guests. We did “go away” but we came back and then we all went to the pub.

We couldn’t see the point of inviting all our mates from all over the world to share our day and then buggering off early for a shag which we’d probably both be too pissed to manage anyway. So we stayed up with them all, went to bed at about 4 in the morning and slept the night together in my bedroom in the single bed.

28. Describe your wedding dress

I couldn’t find one I liked within our budget so I had it made – for half – even now, my Mrs Thrifty side is well proud of this. It was ivory and I’m not sure what you call the style, princess line I think.

It was quite 50s in a way, flat panels going all the way down but they didn’t flare out as much, or as early, as they would on a 50s dress. It was on the shoulders, just and quite low cut – well, I reckoned if I had a cleavage I may as well show it off – long sleeved, figure hugging – but not too figure hugging – until it got towards the bottom, then it got wider and it all went off into an 8ft train at the back – which was nice and also very necessary in a great big fuck-off church.

The top was overlaid with lace and the odd bead embroidered into it over the arms shoulders and down to just below the boobs and it had about 50 million little buttons up the back, especially for Mr BC, who ended up not noticing. The veil was also 8ft, too but luckily it was fairly light and I wore a wire tiara type thing with spoinky bits with the odd pearl here and there.

It was great, not trendy but it suited me, it was definitely classic, definitely not a meringue and I felt like Lady fucking Di.

The men in the bridal party so to speak, wore morning dress, Mr BC in tails, ding-fucking-dong!

29. What flowers did you have?

White and light colours, yellows pinks etc Carnations, Ulstramerias, Lillies, the odd Crysanth (spray) some Gypsofila and those things that smell lovely which I can’t remember the name of, they’re usually yellow or purple… well… those. All light fluffy stuff. My Mum did a lot of them and they were absolutely fabulous.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?

Nope and it’s only mine. As a Glaswegian, he deemed wearing a ring “poofy” and refused. I therefore had the bit about “obeying” cut out of the marriage ceremony, bearing in mind his robotic organisedness and proclivity for trying to make me tidy up I didn’t want to give him any scope for exerting undue authority!

Here are our songs…

Jilted John… there are quite a few versions of this on YouTube, this is live and chosen less for it’s polish or artistic integrity and more for the added bonus of an appearance from Jimmy Saville at the beginning!  Enjoy.

We’re not really very mature…

The Wannadies



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