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The Curse of the Night… 25, March 2008

Posted by babychaos in Adult Content, General Wittering, Life and living, Light Fluff, not while you're eating, Play, Pregnancy Issues, Small Scale Disasters.
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Please note, the not while you’re eating tab is switched on. Those who are a bit prissy about bodily functions and stuff should leave now.

Yes, today I am going to talk about a night terror so horrific I can hardly type the words…

Are you quaking in your shoes? I know I am.

Here goes.

When I go to the bog in the night, which, being a pregnant lady is practically a hobby for me, I don’t usually turn on the light. I live in a town so there is quite enough light coming through the windows for me to see my way to the bathroom, have a wee and come back without danger of waking Mr BC or Mr Cat, both of whom are light sensitive and once woken tend to stay awake, the one tossing and turning, the other noisily galloping about, after I’ve been.

Neither is conducive to a good night’s sleep and anyway, if they don’t wake me up, the light does. Wee in the dark and it’s all done in a kind of dreamy doze… I never really regain consciousness and go straight back to sleep when I get back to bed.

Since I’ve been pregnant though, another evil has reared it’s ugly head.

(Insert psycho music here. I’m not computer savvy enough to do it for you so you’ll have to imagine it in. )

You see, all these hormones have put my poor bowels in a quandary. Where before you could set your watch by them, these last 7 months or so, I’ve been very irregular. I still do fourteen poohs a week it’s just that there are occasions when I do them all on the same day! So sometimes, I blunder into the darkened bathroom at night and suddenly. It happens.

THE NIGHT POOH

Stealthily, without warning it creeps up on me and I am left to wipe – in a situation when I really do need to see – in the dark.

Worse, there is no dozing back to sleep and erasing the horror from my memory because clearly, having wiped a lot, I then have to go over to the other side of the room and turn the light on to check that I’ve wiped enough.

…And that wakes me up.

Mmm… it’s a tough life. *

* That was irony.

I will be away from my computer for the week, now, but maybe next time, I’ll tell you about Dick Dastardly and the Sharp Poohs… where other children had monsters under the bed, we had…

I’m sure you are all looking forward to that!

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Comments»

1. bewilderedhousewife - 26, March 2008

Hilarious!

Thought I was the only one with an unspoken bargain with the bathroom light.

2. magneto bold too - 26, March 2008

14 a week?!?! My god woman you are a super star!

3. cataclismical - 28, March 2008

I don’t have a bladder problem .. but I’ve just wet myself! 😀

4. babychaos - 29, March 2008

Bewilderedhousewife, I’m glad to hear I’m not alone.

Magneto bold… I’m not sure if I’m a super star or just loose, so to speak!

Cataclismical, I’m delighted to have amused you!

Cheers everyone.

BC

5. mrsmetaphor - 30, March 2008

You know what is great about parenthood and you, BC? You will always have plenty of fodder for your blog. I promise you. It just keeps getting better and better.

6. babychaos - 31, March 2008

Mrs M… that sounds kind of loaded… I hope the fodder is good fodder!

Cheers

BC


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