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Hello again… two instalments in muppet life… 2, May 2008

Posted by babychaos in General Wittering.
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The trip to Mum and Dad in-law was a great success. I think they were struggling and our arrival may have pepped them up. We stayed three days until Mum in-law came out of hospital at which point we saw her settled in, made her an omelette for lunch and then we came home. The fact abroad brother thanked us for going down there – as well as Mum in-law, herself, made me feel we had really done some good so although it was a schlep, I’m really glad we went.

Meanwhile we are attending anti-natal classes. I’m doing two sets. But Mr BC is only doing one. We’re only doing two because our first choice ones were on consecutive Thursdays and working, as he does, for the dark lords of the Sith, Mr BC would never be allowed out for something so trivial on two valuable school days.

This is the company which sends memos round about how you must wear a jacket and tie in the corporate meeting rooms (Mr BC has a green and white pin-striped effort especially for this) and how you mustn’t have internal meetings on important work time. Yes they have all their partners meetings at 8.30 in the morning or at the weekends or on Friday nights at 6 o’clock because they really are that boring there is nothing but work in their lives. Really useful for people like Mr BC who work mostly from home, live 110 miles from the office and only go in there a couple of times a week, too.

But I digress.

I am getting to the point where I’m quite excited about meeting my son but also very aware that there is something quite large, inside me, which has to get out through a very small hole. Hoping to have a water birth if I can but I will have to have an antibiotic drip for at least 4 hours before the baby is born which might make that a tad tricky.

Ah we will see…

Mr BC is very quiet at the moment, not sure if it’s because of his Mum, the fact he is about to become a father and has decidedly cold feet about the whole thing or just volume of work – there seems to be a lot and coupled with the fact being a dad means he will have to work for longer before he retires it might account for the quietness. It must be like looking at a life sentence. I wish I could help, I wish I could be the next JK Rowling or Quentin Blake or Dr Seuss and make so much money we could buy his parents a house where ever they wanted and he would never have to work again except when he wanted to.

There have been no jokes and no play.

I think I will try to do some hoovering this afternoon. He knows I loathe and detest hoovering and that I do it because I love him rather than because I want a tidy house (I do want a tidy house but it’s not as high on my list of priorities as it is on his). Anyway, it’s a way of showing him I care and god knows it needs it after all the effort Mr Cat has put into single handedly – or should that be pawedly – attempting to re-carpet the stairs in tabby and white.

The guys flooring the loft chipped the paint on the wall, too so I can touch that up while I’m at it. A small statement of reassurance which, if it is cold feet, or down to me, may help.

I know many men are not that bothered about having kids before it happens, even if they enjoy it once it does but I’m keenly aware that if he doesn’t enjoy being a dad this will actually be the end of our marriage. He did this for me because he knew things had changed after the miscarriage. It may be asking too much and stupidly by the time I realised the extent of his private reluctance I was already pregnant. There is nothing I can do except hope. I’m not sure talking will help because until the Muffin arrives there will be no concrete answer and to voice the uncertainty may only make it harder for both of us especially if I’m right and we do both know what’s wrong.

There’s no way out of this now and the reality of what could happen is pretty stark.

Oh well. No good sitting here.

———–

Later on: stop press:

House hoovered, dents in walls touched up the wrong colour, to the huge amusement of Mr BC who returned home with his sense of humour restored and was able to produce the touch up pot with the correct colour paint in it immediately… from a completely different place to the one I’d been looking in, too, naturally.

He took ages to come home because all the roads were knackered and of course, being a woman and a pregnant one at that, I’d convinced myself he’d never return at all by that time. A little leaking while I hoovered then.

He arrives.

I give him a hug.

He squints at me.

“You’ve been crying…”

Already from his obvious concern I can tell that everything is ok and that we are fine. So I react with humour.

I tell him I have but that’s just the hormones messing with my ass… I can do this confident that he will give me an opening to tell him what’s wrong.

“I hope you’ve not changed your mind, we can’t put this baby back you know.” He tells me cheerfully. Letting me know what he thinks it might be that’s bothering me.

I tell him that no I am delighted about the baby and want it dearly but I’m worried I might have knackered my smashing marriage by having one.

“Ah!” He says, beaming cheerfully. “So you are having a marriage-saving clean. Well, it’s not going to work, I’ve been home nearly five minutes already and even though it should be clear to you that I am desperate for a cup of tea, the kettle isn’t on.”

Equilibrium restored. He may well be nervous and it’s possible he may have opted for fatherhood out of love for his missus rather than desire to be a dad but he’s clearly quite at peace with his decision. He’s taken the afternoon off and gone to have a look at loft ladders in our local DIY stores.

Every day he tells me he loves me, in a thousand different ways, even though he seldom actually says the words. I’m probably hyper sensitive, which means it IS the hormones… I guess it’s not so long before I pop and they are probably all over the shop!

Phew.

I take the pot of the wrong coloured paint back to our shed. There’s been a heavy shower but right now the sky is blue, the sun is out and everything is glistening with raindrops and light. Mr Cat is lying on his back on the lawn with his legs in the air sunning his tummy. He rolls over to greet me and then rolls back, anxious to catch some more sun. The grass is soaked and so is the fur on his back.

Hmm… all’s right with the world.

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Comments»

1. Kat - 2, May 2008

I’m not sure what to say except I’m sending you my very best wishes.

2. Geldoff - 2, May 2008

Really touched by your blog, BC, you took me down and up with you all the way. I could smell the lovely wet grass at the end and I felt everything’s okay in the world too. I feel sure there’s an old adage that includes the words “darkest” and “dawn” … ๐Ÿ˜‰ Just remeber taht we’re rootin’ for ya, Kiddo! (Softly touches BC’s jaw with fist – and away.)

3. writerchick - 2, May 2008

Hey BC,
Sounds like you’re moving toward that little nesting stage which could mean junior isn’t far from his debut! I’m sure that once the baby comes your hubby will be overjoyed at having a child. Once they arrive they inspire such love and caring – especially with the proud parents, that it seems nearly impossible that that isn’t the case. Hope you get to do your water birth and all goes well and smoothly. Any names picked out yet?
WC

4. ali - 4, May 2008

you guys are great parents already! ๐Ÿ™‚ not everyone can be cheerful in the face of crazy hormones. ๐Ÿ™‚

someone’s dad once told me that the dad’s real job is to keep the mom happy so she doesn’t drive the children crazy.

I think Mr. BC is a smashing success. ๐Ÿ˜€

5. Noble Savage - 6, May 2008

What a lovely and honest post, you voiced the concerns that nearly all parents-to-be have at one time or another before the birth. But just like with any other challenge in marriage in which one person might have wanted something a bit more than the other, you each learn to compromise and often come to love the very thing you were reluctant to embrace.

Oh, and the crying and cleaning? You’re definitely getting close. ๐Ÿ˜‰

6. babychaos - 6, May 2008

Kat and Geldoff, bless you (blushes bashfully) and Mr G it’s great to know you’ve been lurking, I was worried with all of my girlie posts that you might have rather given up on me! (wouldn’t have blamed you).
WC, pretty sure you’re right and on my rational days, I agree with you.
Ali, I will have to tell that saying about the dad’s real job to Mr BC.
Noble Savage… thanks – and yes, I think I am getting pretty close but probably in weeks rather than days…

Thanks everyone!

7. Joe Drinker - 6, May 2008

Nice! A marriage-saving clean…I knew there was a term for it. We just did one yesterday, but that’s so we don’t pack and move a bunch of dust bunnies to our new place.

It was either them or one of us.

Glad to hear you’re doing well, BC.

8. Geldoff - 7, May 2008

Nah, the girlie stuff doesn’t faze me, BC; I tried putting on my posh frock once to see if it would help me to empathise while reading the girlie stuff but surprisingly it didn’t make a difference. Mustn’t’ve been wearing the right shoes. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Loved Ali’s saying about a dad’s real job. ๐Ÿ™‚

9. babychaos - 7, May 2008

Joe, I hear you, I’ve been packing up a lot of my breakable stuff to be opened later when we’ve a) moved or b) the Muffin is older.

Geldoff it was probably your choice of handbag which scuppered you!

Cheers

BC

10. Mrs. Nicklebee - 12, May 2008

Mr. BC makes my heart melt! What a sweetheart! He’s still a keeper. ๐Ÿ™‚ Agreeing with what the others have already said. LOL re: the dark lords of the Sith. Poor Mr. BC.

I’m glad things went well on your visit to the in-laws. It’s great that you were able to cheer them up. ๐Ÿ™‚

11. Kat - 14, May 2008

I’m glad I came back to check this post. I was wondering how it all worked out since you hadn’t mentioned it again. Glad it turned out so well. ๐Ÿ™‚

12. babychaos - 15, May 2008

Mrs N, he is a complete sweetie and I am incredibly lucky to have him.
Kat, I’m glad you came back too, I nearly left you a comment to mention all was well on your blog but I felt daft!

Cheers y’all.

BC


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