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Household Hazard Number 32. The One Cat Disaster Zone. 9, June 2008

Posted by babychaos in Adult Content, Art, General Wittering, Life and living, Play, Small Scale Disasters.
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So I had a lovely day today, the weather was fine and sunny and I spent the morning having coffee with a friend round the corner and I sat out for the afternoon finishing some painting I have to do. All is going swimmingly, just finishing the last of the figure backgrounds and have mixed the colour for the lettering when the Kraken – who has spent the afternoon sleeping peacefully on top of one of my plants – wakes.

Yes, Mr Cat wants on to the table. There is no room. It containing a tray full of mixed inks, a piece of paper with various squiggles and further ink mixes, the paint water, brush and rag (kitchen roll) for wiping the brushes and of course, not forgetting the actual painting. I push him off and he goes back to sitting on the chair… for a few minutes, until he sees I am once again immersed in what I am doing.

He strikes, leaping onto the table and then standing on his hind legs and shaking to settle his fur. The table shakes with him, alarmingly but by some miracle nothing spills from the ink palette or drips off the paper and the paint water pot remains upright.

I remove the painting to safety and the paper with the paint squiggles… well… he puts his front foot in a soggy patch of watered down red and stretches but it’s not too bad, I manage to remove it before he steps into anything too concentrated. I get the water container, complete with brush oh yes and not forgetting my tea out of the way…

He is between me and the inks but he is not interested in retreating to that end of the table. He wants love and as my flailing hands remove soggy paint spattered things from his reach he tries to headbutt them, to get my attention… and get himself tickled behind the ears. I tell him he is a spanner and he suddenly realises I am laughing but at the same time, a little put upon. He backs away sitting down in the yellow ink. It’s all over his bum… this is a long haired cat, remember, with back trousers like one of those bizarre fluffy chickens.

Shit!

I get the ink tray out of his way – that’s the try full of permanent, light fast inks – and try to wipe the bright yellow – oh look with some green, too – off his copious furry rear pantaloons. There is too much ink on the cloth for it to be much good but it works a little until he decides to sit down on the table. Now there is yellow and green ink all over the table, the cat and the only thing I have to hand to wipe it up.

Arse!

I pour water on it to keep it wet in the hope I can wash it out. Nothing doing. I must go into the house to get more kitchen roll. Mr Cat leaps onto the chair – his hairy rear trousers acting like a giant paint brush – and covers that with yellow ink, too.

Mr Cat sees that the human is going into the house. Good. He will go with her and then she will stroke him while he eats his food.

No. She will not let him in. Not until she’s got the sodding yellow off the chair anyway – well… ok that’s only a partial success but it’s pretty well camouflaged and I can probably convince Mr BC it’s bird muck.

Mr Cat lurks by the door. I still refuse to let him in. Except I can’t stop him because he’s a bit quick like that whereas, conversely, I am currently built like a weeble and manoeuver with the grace, poise and cornering capability of the average oil tanker. So instead I corner him, hold him down and wipe the rest of the yellow off him. It’s dry now, anyway. He’s going to have to live with a yellow and green arse until it wears or moults off – whichever comes first.

Meanwhile back to the table. The nice wooden naturally weathered outdoor table. That’s yellow and green, too.

And dry.

Oh dear.

Mr BC is not going to like this. Never mind. At least I didn’t get any on the name painting and considering the determined onslaught of Mr Cat I did pretty well to disguise the fate of the chair and escape with merely the table daubed with ink.

Sigh.

Exit BC stage left to find some sandpaper.

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Comments»

1. Bill Howdle - 9, June 2008

Loved the cat story, just checking in to see if the big day has arrived.
You are in my heart, thoughts and prayers my friend
Bill

2. Kat - 10, June 2008

Never you mind. Once the little one is up and about and fingerpainting, that table is toast anyway. Might as well get Mr BC used to the idea. 😀

3. writer chick - 10, June 2008

Oh my God, BC, that’s hilarious. I realize it probably wasn’t super funny while it was happening, but reading it was like watching an old episode of I Love Lucy. Next time – you may need to make sure your lazer shields are up. 😉
WC

4. Steff - 10, June 2008

Perhaps he is a frustrated artist? Would love to see a photo of his yellow and green rear! Best of luck with your imminent arrival, if you can handle ink stained cats you can handle anything!

5. babychaos - 10, June 2008

Bill… I have an induction scheduled for tomorrow although my reflexology lady had a good go at me today so I may well pop overnight.

Kat, so true… he will be inured by then though so it’ll be less of a shock.

WC, glad it made you laugh, it was quite funny at the time and luckily Mr BC thought so too…

Steff, amazingly, today the yellow and green bottom is hardly noticeable… no sign of any er hem, yellow and green in the litter tray either.

Just finishing up my commission and printing out a set of flash cards and I’ll be all set and ready for the birth tomorrow (hopefully).

Cheers all

BC

6. Mrs. Nicklebee - 11, June 2008

LOL What a relief that he didn’t ruin your project!

I am so looking forward to tomorrow, which is today for you!! I’ll be praying for you!! 😀

7. mrsmetaphor - 12, June 2008

Argh. I guess we can’t expect you to blog the induction and birth, huh…

It’s hard to live vicariously through you on the internet. seriously. work on that.

keeping you and the whole fam in good thoughts and prayers tho this week!!

8. Kat - 12, June 2008

I don’t have your e-mail address, so I’m just dropping by to wish you a happy birthday and to say that I hope you’re doing well and enjoying your little one. 🙂

9. magneto bold too - 12, June 2008

Bwaaaaa haaaaa haaaaaa! That was an awesome tale. In a year or so just replace ‘cat’ with your little bundles name….

Can’t wait to hear how it all went!

10. Rua MacTírean - 13, June 2008

your about to become a mammy, get used to having all your nice things ruined-trust me, its easier this way

11. Bill Howdle - 15, June 2008

Eager to see you back and hear all about how everything went.
Bill


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