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Arse! 5, July 2010

Posted by babychaos in Adult Content, General Wittering, Grumpy Old Bag, Small Scale Disasters, whinging.
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The little rat arsed drunken bastards who scream their way up my street every Friday and Saturday night (oh for a water cannon… or a megaphone, a few rounds of “shut the fuck up you loud mouthed prick” followed by high velocity squirting would be very satisfying) have stolen one of our green balls again only this time they’ve hidden it more thoroughly and my efforts to get it back have proved fruitless.

I’ll have to go back to hanging baskets which die because I forget to water them or buy another pair of balls which is annoying because they’re fucking expensive… When I do, I’m thinking I should fill them with dog pooh… or Chewie’s, perhaps! At least that way there’s a chance the little shits who nick the next one will get wiels disease. I mean bloody hell! When I was young, we nicked street furniture, we stole from THE MAN! Nobody stole stuff from real people even if we thought they were rich which, presumably because we have the temerity to live in a big house, is what’s happening to here…

Oh dear, there I go getting fed up with the resident in-laws for their apparent view that everyone, in the entire world who is under 25 or who sees the world in a way that is the tiniest bit different from them is devoid of any redeeming features and may as well be put in prison straight away and I go and say that…

No, actually I never said that all young people are feckless bastards… but by the laws of averages, some of the feckless bastards will have to be young people. It’s unfortunate that they’re the ones who walk home down my street every Friday and Saturday night.

Tossers.

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Comments»

1. dru - 5, July 2010

On behalf of non-screachy unfeckless young people everywere, I thank you for not taring us with the same brush 🙂 Alright we know how to make noise with the best but at least we *try* not to… Just alchohol tends to inhibit that…

Babychaos - 1, August 2010

I’m sure I was a feckless bastard when I was young and yeh, you’re right it’s just the beer talking – I mean, shouting – but it does drive me crazy, last night the same group walked up and down my street about five times (clearly wandering aimlessly with no place to go) I came so close to shouting at them to shut up it really wasn’t funny… I am officially a miserable old sod… I’ve even got the arthritis to prove it!

Cheers

BC

2. flyingrowan - 7, July 2010

We used to march peoples garden gomes out of their gardens in hilarious “queues” and lines and put the plant pots in amusing positions. Harmless yet wonderful fun. I suggest getting some garden gnomes to distract the feckless bastards, Or smear everything in chili sauce so that when they touch it and then invariably smear it in their eyes they’ll be crying all the way home

Babychaos - 1, August 2010

Ah, now, thinking about it, that IS the sort of thing I’d have done but I have to admit, I’d find it very amusing to be on the receiving end of that sort of caper. I wouldn’t even mind if they put the balls back.

Cheers

BC

3. Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo - 14, July 2010

next you will be all ‘get the hell offa mah lawn’ and shaking your walking stick at em.

Heh heh heh.

Babychaos - 1, August 2010

I know, I’m turning into a miserable old bastard!

Gneeeeeeeeh.

Cheers

BC


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