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More mini-me 29, November 2010

Posted by babychaos in baby stuff, General Wittering, Mini Me, toddlers.
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Small fry is in bed, ready to go to sleep. Catus Maximus comes in, meowing. I pick him up and he begins to purr.

Junior knows about purring, it has alarmed him before. The first incident went like this.

“That is a noise.” mini-me had said, a look of worried incomprehension on his face.

“That is purring.” I had told him and explained that it meant our cat was content. He digested this news in silence for a while.

“OK.” he’d said.

So there we were, Junior all ready for bed, me about to kiss him goodnight and Catus Max purring in my arms.

“That is Chewie!” says the small man. “He is purring.”

“Yes, that’s right.” I say. “You remember about purring don’t you.”

“Yes.”

“Good stuff.”

A long, long thoughtful pause.

“He is alright? He is not broken?”

“No, he is not broken. He is happy.”

“OK.”

He comes out with this kinf of thing all the time and I can’t help thinking I should write more of it down.

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More Mini Me 26, October 2010

Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Life and living, Mini Me, Mom, Mum.
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Mini me likes to “brush” my hair with a spoon and the handle of a pastry cutter (the wheel has long since disappeared).

“Table clap…” he was shouting yesterday as he did the brushing thing and then pretended to take something off the spoon and put it in his “kettle” (a stainless steel pot removed from one of his legal cupboards, we’re into ‘silver’ at the moment).

“Are you making tea?” I ask.

“Yes, table clap tea.”

“What’s table clap?”

“Table clap.” he says again, with a seraphic but very mischievious grin. Then the penny drops.

“Cradle cap?” I ask.

“Yes. Muggy’s cradle cap.”

“You’re making cradle cap tea?”

“Yes.”

Yuk.

New swear word (or at least he thinks it is) learned after mother stands up fast, banging her head on the corner of a cupboard door as she goes and shouts the beginnings of an obscenity which she manages to change to “clangy bell” before he’s properly heard.

Junior now shouts “clangy bell” at every opportunity because he thinks it might be naughty. Never mind, it’s better than the original.

He’s been out in the rain in his pushchair with his dad. He’s fine but Mr Tiger who goes everywhere with him at the moment, is somewhat soggy.

“Poor Mr Tiger’s soaked. Shall I put him in the tumble dryer for a minute or two?” I ask and Mini-me says.

“No thank you, Muggy. He will get dizzy.”

Sorry I’ve been so absent… I’m launching a book. It should be sorted by the end of the week though. Boy will I be happy when it’s done.

More antics of mini me 25, September 2010

Posted by babychaos in General Wittering, Life and living, Mini Me, Mum.
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Grand Prix qualifying today, wee man was having his ‘rest’ he doesn’t sleep but he does need some time on his own so I put him upstairs with books and he burbles away. Mr BC and I sat happily in front of the telly listening to the baby monitor.

God knows how but he’d managed to get a pot of sudocreme – that’s nappy cream to the non breeders – it was a huge catering sized vat.

Downstairs, Mr BC and I are listening as we watch, it’s about time to collect Mini Me but he’s very quiet, is he asleep? We listen? No… there is some noise but it’s furtive – none of the usual cheery singing. After 20 minutes or so we decide he is awake and, knowing how much he will love the qualifying he likes ‘fast cars’ I go up and get him.

The site that greets me is… interesting. Imagine a mechanic. The messiest mechanic you have ever seen, with oil on their forehead, arms, clothes and everything else around them. Got that? Right, now turn the black white. I know he’s been up to something the minute I walk in because an aura of glee almost knocks me over when I go into the room.

I open the curtains and he looks up at me smiling. There is sudocreme on his forehead, his dummy and he clutches a sock in one hand which is also white with sudocreme. His trousers are white, his shirt is white and he has removed an arm and one shoulder to wear it toga style.

“Ah,” I say, “I see you have some sudocreme.”

“I have put it on this tractor,” he holds the white greasy tractor up proudly, “and this tractor,” he holds up another one, “and my feet.”

“Mmm…” I say, “Why?” That’s thrown him. He looks nonplussed but continues to smile proudly and sweetly. “Is there any left?” I ask. He hands me the container and I peer in. “No.”

It is also all over his books, and Mr Tiger, his favourite cuddly, has a slightly greasy sheen.

“Did you…?”  I point.

“He had a sore bottom.” He says. The laughter bubbles up, like John McEnroe, I canNOT be serious.

I’m talking ’bout things… 15, May 2010

Posted by babychaos in baby stuff, General Wittering, Mini Me, Mom, Mum, not while you're eating, toddlers.
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I went car booting today, arrived home and mini-me runs into the garage with his daddy.

“Hello gorgeous!” I say.

“Hello Muggie!” He replies. Two words together. Yes, as of this morning we are doing phrases, with consistency I mean because phrases are what he did first (a two off “I dat” and “I go la” at 9 months then a one off  “no mummy, I get this today” at 13 months or so which was the time he started saying the odd word).

His cognative skills are better too.

He also has a hissy fit if I…

  • Shut a door without letting him do it for
  • Flush the loo myself.
  • Help myself to loo paper – I MUST allow him to remove it from the roll and hand it to me in tiny pieces or, if I’m lucky, sheet by sheet.

I’ve probably psychologically scarred him for life using a menstrual cup in his presence but very possibly slightly less than if I’d shut him out in the hall while I did it, judging by the yelling that goes on if I do.

Finally, I’ve published ANOTHER e-short which you can find here it’s also on Feedbooks if you prefer. Blurb below, enjoy.

They Came, They Saw, They Took the Tinfoil.

Gerry wakes up in in a bath full of cold water in her interview suit and best shoes. How did she get there? How did she sleep and why is there nothing aluminium left in the flat? Her flatmate Jane wants a shower, her other flatmate, Nina, is looking for her saucepans but Gerry… she just wants answers. British English, a bit of light swearing U/PG

Understanding Todlerspeak… 5, May 2010

Posted by babychaos in baby stuff, General Wittering, Light Fluff, Mini Me, Mom, Mum.
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Small man is beginning to talk, at length. He’s not great at intelligible sentences, although that doesn’t stop him chatting away… There are some words he can say clearly but the thing I’m enjoying at the moment is the things he says, which aren’t clear and which, by din’t of repetition, I’ve learned to understand… I’ve decided to list them here as and when I think of them.

  1. Gurdering gan – watering can
  2. Ga-gang, ga-gang – railway
  3. Ga-gang – train
  4. At aie – tractor
  5. Erdle-egan – home again
  6. Gerky Gerky – faster faster (imitating a toy car that says ‘faster faster’ and shouted, with glee, every time I overtake anything in the real one)
  7. Buggie – dummy (soother)
  8. Muggie – me, his mummy.
  9. Gigam – balloon
  10. Girdle-gan – aeroplane

He has learned what numbers are but not the actual word “numbers” so he will see one written down and shout “four, six… eleven” because he knows there’s a corrolation. If you count to three he will shout along with you “six, six, seven”… it’s brilliant.

He has learned sounds, so a clock is “bong, bong, bong, BONG!” Big Ben style, animals are the sound they make (plus the odd hand signal to make the difference between animals with similar er… calls).